a second chance

be good miranda

2012-01-09T13:10:00.002-05:00

I haven't abandoned my blog, but right now I really do love my tumblr!

Check out my tumblr, Be Good Miranda, for my makeshift 365 (366 this year!) project. A photo every day!

epiphany

2012-01-06T23:23:00.002-05:00

Yesterday after/during my meltdown in the car I was feeling a little bummed because I was dead set on making 2012 different from last year. I knew I wanted to make some resolutions, adopt some new motto, and participate in the 365 project. But then I blinked and it was the 6th and I was about to say "to hell with it" when I was listening to K-Love and they started talking about the Epiphany Holiday.

Today, January 6th (the 12th night of the 12 days of Christmas), actually marks the last day of Christmas. Some people even celebrate today because today is the day that the wise men arrived and presented their gifts to baby Jesus (this is also debatable). Either way, I'm sure it was just the Lord's way of reminding me that it's never too late.

So in true magi fashion I present to you my 3 resolutions & my 3 new mottos...

RESOLUTIONS:

1. Be all there.

2. Learn to sew.

3. Keep a daily quiet time & pray more. A lot more.

MOTTOS:

Sidenote: Brie & I both adopted these this year after seeing We Bought A Zoo, which is where they all came from...

1. "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."

2. "Find the light."

3. "Why not?"

...

& look for my makeshift 365 project by following me on Instagram or on my tumblr!

fabulous & flawed

2012-01-06T00:14:00.003-05:00

Tonight I opened up a Dove chocolate promise that read "It's OK to be fabulous AND flawed" and I just thought it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. I had a mini meltdown in the car today (please tell me I'm not the only one that does this). I just felt so defeated. I'm trying. I'm trying hard. I'm trying my best, but sometimes it doesn't feel like its enough. I'm not competitive but I'm also not a quitter...I keep trying until I get it right. But lately I haven't quite been getting it right. I think maybe sometimes I am too hard on myself because to strive for perfection is really a setup for disappointment. Every once in a while I need a reminder that I'm human and therefore flawed. It's ok to be flawed. If we weren't flawed, there wouldn't be a need for a Savior.

I also remember a sermon from Water's Edge Church (get it on itunes - WEC Podcast "Five Lies of the Devil" from October 30, 2011) where they did a series on the "Five Lies of the Devil." This particular week was the lie "You are not good enough." Rob Shepherd talked about the verse Romans 3:23, reminding everyone listening that no one is perfect, but God is. He also talked about Paul and his thorn in the flesh. But his next point blew me away. It's a little paraphrased, but you'll get the gist...

"Even if you worked really hard to be smart, someone would still tell you you're dumb.

Even if you went years without making a mistake, someone would point back to the one mistake that you made.

Even if you were perfect, somebody would crucify you."

Not feeling good enough is Satan's way of making you feel defeated. It's his way of preventing you from what God has for you. No matter what you do, how hard you try, how careful you are - you will never reach perfection. And even if you did (like Christ), somebody would still crucify you. I thought it was such a good point because it made everything click for me. It's not about being perfect, its about being strong enough in your weakness to reach out to God who is good enough.

I can't live my whole life wasting

All the grace that I know You've given

'Cause you've made me for so much more than

Sitting on the sidelines

I don't wanna look back and wonder

If good enough could've been better

Every day's a day that's borrowed

So why am I waiting for tomorrow?

Oh, I'm making this my moment now

To grab the hand that's reaching down to save me

Oh, You save me.

Mandisa "Waiting for Tomorrow"

2012

2012-01-01T22:07:00.003-05:00

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

2 Corinthians 5:17

I am ESPECIALLY thankful for this promise today.

Thank you Lord for a second chance.

A new year.

& a fresh start.

happy birthday jesus

2011-12-25T22:01:00.001-05:00

The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."

- Luke 2:10-14-

run run rudolph

2011-12-24T00:10:00.004-05:00

I can't believe it is already Christmas Eve! This time of the year is so much fun! Last weekend we had our company Christmas party at work and I somehow managed to convince six of my co-workers that it would be a good idea to dress up as reindeer and make up a dance to perform in front of everyone and their families. Have I mentioned how much I love my co-workers? We all wore matching red reindeer sweaters with big puff paint pictures of reindeer with names (I was "Dancer"!), antlers with bells, and turtlenecks. The turtlenecks were my request of course. Tara, Tim (our dance coordinator) and I spent like 3 hours one night coming up with the dance and we taught it to the rest of the girls in an hour on Saturday morning and performed it twice (did I hear encore?) on Sunday morning for the crew. It made me laugh and think of all of my college friends who I surely would have convinced to do the same thing had we all been together this year. Some things never change. Check out my FB page for the video! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

be all there

2011-12-20T00:55:00.004-05:00

"Wherever you are, be all there." - Jim Elliot

This simple little quote has been so convicting/encouraging as I reflect on this past year. "Being all there" is something I strive to live out daily, but can sometimes be challenging, especially during a year like this past one when things didn't turn out necessarily how I imagined or hoped they would. The truth is, even though selfishly I may not be exactly where I want to be, the Lord has still proven His love and faithfulness with numerous blessings in spite of my disobedience. As 2012 approaches (please hurry!) I think my ~~number 1~~ only New Years Resolution will be to continue to embrace God's plan for my life by making sure I am "being all there" and living out His word in Colossians 3:23 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." (NIV).

It wasn't until I stopped fighting God over what I thought was best for my life that I saw all the blessings He has placed right in front of me. I can't thank Him enough for my sister who is also one of my best friends, family (both immediate & extended) that exude love, friends that support and encourage me even from 100s of miles away, and co-workers that make me smile everyday.

Pray for me as I continue to extend this standard into every area of my life!

i believe

2011-12-16T09:02:00.002-05:00

Recently I read an article in Good Housekeeping magazine where Amy Grant was talking about her youngest daughter and her strong belief in Santa, or maybe rather her choice to still believe in Santa even though she had been told the truth.

Amy Grant said (referring to her daughter) - "I believe she'll give Santa credit for all good things that happen at Christmastime until she's 25, because she loves the mystery and magic of giving. When she was younger, I felt like I needed to ease her into reality. Now she clearly understands reality and chooses to make the mystery fun for all of us."

After reading that I couldn't help but think of my own poor parents and the night they "eased me into reality." You see, and I'm not embarrassed to say this, I believed in Santa Clause until age 10. Do the math - thats 5th grade. And I believed with every part of my being, thats how much I believed.

Unfortunately, my "reality" came as part of a punishment. Apparently I was being a brat that year and I had asked Santa for some toy (probably a Barbie nail salon) and then I got into some trouble (probably from disrupting class at school). My original punishment must have been that I was not getting (insert said gift), but when they told me I would not be receiving the top item on my Christmas list I quickly replied, "Fine. I'll just ask Santa for it." Did I mention I was being a brat?

Instead of simply telling me I was on the naughty list that year my parents called me into our family room to have a talk. Sidenote: nothing good follows the words, "we need to talk." They told me that Santa was not real and that they were the ones that had been giving gifts all those years. I didn't believe them...the past 10 years a lie? No way. I thought they were trying to get me to not believe in Santa so that he wouldn't get me the toy I had asked for. Growing up they had always told us that if we ever stopped believing in Santa he would stop bringing toys. This, I thought, was a setup. After some convincing, and let's be real here probably a few tears, I saw the light and began to ask the bigger questions...

"Is the easter bunny real?"

"No."

"Is the tooth fairy real?"

"No."

"Is GOD real?!?!"

"Yes, Miranda God is real!!!!"

And that was that. I was told to keep the news hush hush to my cousin and younger sister who had been skeptics for several years. I was the one convincing them to believe. Oh, and I didn't get the toy I asked for in case you were wondering.

can you hear me now?

2011-12-11T20:47:00.003-05:00

I have had my fair share of phone troubles this year. I started the year with my purple blackberry curve which I loved until it broke ~~one~~ ~~two~~ ~~three~~ FOUR times!!!!! Each time it broke it had to be shipped away and I was phone-less for a few days until a "non-faulty" refurbished one arrived. I was not a happy camper. I quickly surrendered my bb loyalty when my dad upgraded his phone and passed off his hand-me-down droid 2. I thought I had died and gone to cell phone heaven with all my new apps and widgets and features. All was right with the world until my phone starting freezing, not sending texts, dying after like 30 minutes, etc. Can I please just get a cell phone that works? Which is why I finally invested in the iphone 4s! I have waited so long for my upgrade and on December 6th I was at the Verizon store as soon as it opened to cough up my cash for a brand spankin' new white iphone and I could not be happier with my purchase. I don't care what anyone tells you about phones - the iphone takes the cake. I'm completely obsessed and have been app happy ever since I got it a few days ago.

My must-have apps:

1. Style.com - the coolest app in the entire world. It shows all the latest runway shows from pretty much every designer you can imagine. I also like Trendstop which is pretty similar and gives great fashion news.

2. Foursquare & Facebook - my two favorite social media apps.

3. Instagram, Doodle Booth, picfx, Camera Fx+ & Fotolr CS - all awesomely cool photo apps.

4. Food spotting - for all my foodie friends.

5. Stamped & Oink - both are new and pretty similar. Stamped lets you list all of your favorite things - books, movies, food, music, etc. You follow friends similar to Twitter and see all of their favorite things/recommendations. Oink lets you rate a variety of things, both good and bad. I think if they both catch on they will be really fun apps to share with friends.

6. Key Ring - a great place to store all of your loyalty cards.

7. Games!!!!! Right now I really like Style Studio, Tap Zoo 2, and virtual pets games like Touch Dogs 2 & My Horse.

So friends, what are your favorite apps?

so silly

2011-12-09T00:40:00.006-05:00

I think I may have mentioned once or twice how much I love Amy Grant, but can I just say it one more time?!? I LOVE AMY GRANT! Her & Vince Gill's Christmas concerts are the best. I look forward to them every year, checking her website several times to see if/when she will be touring. I bought tickets as soon as they went on sale for Norfolk and I have been looking forward to this night for months. I knew right away to take my BFF Loisann with me. After all, she had been with me the first time I saw Amy's Christmas concert and the first time I got to meet Amy (aka my favorite Christmas present ever!)

This year we made it our personal mission to get backstage to snap another goofy picture with Amy like we had done back in 2003. It turned out to be mission impossible! Even with the charm turned on, we couldn't get past a single guard. We resorted to plan B - waiting outside in the freezing cold by her tour bus...it worked! She came out and spent a few minutes with us and then we got another silly picture with her. Just confirmation that she always will be my favorite singer. I don't know what it was about "It Takes a Little Time" that touched my 10 year old soul so much, but I've been a forever fan ever since.

Now

Then

sorelle per sempre

2011-12-07T23:45:00.012-05:00

Last year my sister and I made a pact to take a sister trip every year no matter where we were, what was going on, etc. At the time I was living 3 1/2 hours away from her and even though I'm only 30 minutes away this year it has still been a struggle to spend a significant amount of time together with our crazy schedules. You may remember our Disney trip from last year - click here. This year we barely made the 2011 trip, but I am so glad we finally carved out some time for a short vacay. We also extended the sister trip to our aunts and cousins, which I believe truly enhanced our experience. On Friday morning we (my sister, me, my three aunts, and two cousins) headed up north to my favorite city in the whole world...NYC! It had been WAY too long since my last visit.

We were greeted with beautifully mild winter weather and immediately adapted to the hustle and bustle of the city. Prior to the trip everyone had made a request of at least one thing they wanted to see while we were in the city so it was kind of like a fun game to travel across the city and make it to each destination. First up? A trip to the huge Forever 21 in Herald Sqaure (per Kalen's request) - she was in heaven. We also took a pit stop in Macy's to see the real Santa, who kind of resembled a creepy wax figure. Then we headed downtown to Chinatown (Grace's request) where we ran into Nicki Minaj!!!!!!!!! The Billboard Women in Music awards were being held at the Capitale and we were hoping to also catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift but Nicki Minaj's fans had gotten a little out of hand so T.Swift headed out the side door :( The guards at the door gave us her newest CD to make up for it though! Nice. We also saw Robin Robbins, Katie Couric, & Hoda. It was a celeb hotspot!

Who the eff is she? She's Nicki Minaj she macks them dudes up, backs coupes up, and chucks the duece up!

After that we headed over to Papabubble and then to Soho for my Bon Jovi obsessed aunt to ~~stalk~~ catch a glimpse of his apartment building on Mercer St. We were there for a little while hahaha. We had dinner reservations at Stand. I had a temperature of 102 so I had to pass on a marshmallow milkshake (gasp!) but my family certainly enjoyed them. We walked around the Holiday Market at Union Square and then headed uptown to see the windows at Saks and the tree at Rockefeller. The lights in the city are so beautiful and seeing them always makes me super excited for Christmas. The temperature dropped that night so we all ended up buying these knit animal hats that made us look like we escaped from the Central Park zoo. Hey, at least it was easy to find each other! Here are a few pictures...

Saturday I took the girls to Dylan's Candy Shop and then we met up with my friend Suzanne (remember Suzanne from my days at Shape?) who took us to the new Lady Gaga Workshop at Barney's. It is pretty much the epitome of awesome - sooooo much cool Gaga memorabilia. And on the way out we saw Vera Wang posing outside! Crazy!

My time with Suzanne was too short! We parted ways at dinner and my family and I had pizza and then headed into Times Square until it was time to see The Nutcracker!!!!! The Nutcracker was probably my favorite part of the trip (& also my "request") Those ballerinas are so good I could barely take my eyes off of them. After dinner we went back to Times Square for round 2. We ended up getting back to our hotel at almost 2 am! Talk about girl's night out, we were having way too much fun!

My crazy family & our signature poses!

Sunday we went to a Chocolate Expo in Secaucus, NJ where we got chocolate wasted. It was a lot of fun, it was pretty much all local vendors with some of the most unique and delicious food. One of my favorites was maple cotton candy - yum! Around 2 o'clock Buddy from Cake Boss joined the fun and Brie and I were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. We got to take pictures and shake his hand. I told him that we had been to his place in Hoboken and that we loved his lobster tails. Remember?

After the expo we packed our bags and had dinner at Planet Hollywood in Times Square...a new sister trip tradition perhaps? We made the trek up to the airport and then headed home. Leaving the city is always sad, but I was so sick that part of me was looking forward to crashing in my own bed. Another successful sister trip completed.

Sorelle per sempre.

Sisters for always.

tales of christmas past

2011-12-01T14:30:00.011-05:00

Some of my favorite Christmas memories are from my four years at LU. There was really only a 2 1/2 week span between Thanksgiving Break & Christmas Break every year - a time intended for studying for finals, though none of my favorite Christmas memories include studying...imagine that. One of my favorite things about LU was that since it was a Christian school there was no hiding the reason for the season. Our halls, dorms, cafeteria, the whole campus really, was covered in sparkling lights, Christmas trees, and big red ribbon bows. Every year brought some crazy new adventure as my friends and I got caught up in the Christmas cheer. Here is a look back (don't judge)...

Freshman year. In true freshman fashion myroommate Brooke & I ditched last minute studying for finals and instead decided to spend an entire night (literally) decorating our dorm room Elf style. The result was unforgettable - a life sized gingerbread house covered in real candy that satisfied the midnight study cravings of our dorm mates. See picture below.

Sophomore year. Practically every night of this Christmas break was spent with the girls in my dorm singing,choreographing, and designing outfits to a Shania Twain remake of "Man I Feel Like Some Christmas" inspired by this little clip from Santa Clause 2. I sit here with tears in my eyes as I laugh thinking about how ridiculous we must have looked performing this several times for so many different audiences...I would post the video, but I think my roommate Kelly would drive to the beach and kill me if I did. So I'll post another one of my favorite pictures from this year - open dorms (aka shoving as many boys into my dorm room as possible). At LU guys and girls were not allowed in each others dorms at all. Ever. The one exception was open dorms which was held once, sometimes twice, a year. For a couple hours one night all dorms were open and people went crazy (LU crazy, not typical college student crazy). It may sound lame to a non-LUer but it was seriously so fun. The picture below is of the boys visiting my dorm room.

Junior year. This year I lived in an apartment style dorm with some of my best friends. Finals for us were so intense that year that our Christmas craziness had to be confined to a single scheduled "family" night. We all wore Christmas pajamas, exchanged gifts and stockings, ate Santa shaped pancakes for dinner, and finished the night with a Christmas movie in our decked out common room. It was such a chill night filled with sweet memories.

Our dorm room from the inside.

Our dorm room from the outside.

All decked out in our Christmas pj's!

Senior year. By senior year my BFFs and I had moved off campus to a huge house (7 of us lived there!) and we decided to throw a more mature, sophisticated, classy party...we were seniors after all. We wore cute party dresses and drank mocktails. We felt so grown up.

4/7 roommates & the first snow that year!

Those drinks are virgin.

I don't even know what is going on in this picture.

sparkle & shine

2011-11-27T19:51:00.007-05:00

Winter doesn't officially start until December 22nd, but I have been in full winter mode ever since we had a taste of the season with that temp drop at the beginning of the month (nevermind the 60+ degree weather we have had for the past few days). I love winter, maybe I'm biased because I was born in winter, but you have to admit that snow makes everything so beautiful! Plus, I love bundling up in puffy coats and tall fuzzy socks. Here are my favorite winter fashion trends this year:

Boot socks.

Sidenote: I have collected so many of these already I had to get a bigger sock drawer. Oops.

Red jeans.

Sparkle EVERYTHING!

Oxfords & tights.

Lace dresses.

happy thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T09:46:00.003-05:00

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him & praise His name." - Psalm 100:4

There are more than a few things I am thankful for this year, including, but not limited to:

My Heavenly Father who blesses me more than I ever deserve.

The ability to walk, b/c for 6 weeks this year I couldn't.

My brother and sister for all of their love, support, & laughter.

Ballet. When I went through some of the tough stuff of life this year I lost words to express what I was feeling, so I just danced.

New friends that feel more like family, and old friends who are still actively involved in my life from 100s of miles away.

Living by the beach (even if I sometimes take it for granted).

& days off, like today, that come so few and far between.

11/11/11

2011-11-11T23:08:00.002-05:00

11:11 on 11/11/11

eleven has always been my favorite number.

raise your glass

2011-11-10T10:41:00.003-05:00

An explanation of why I ~~never~~, ~~rarely~~, sometimes consume alcohol. That has been my thought process, which is why this blog post is long overdue. I think one of the most controversial questions amongst Christians is…”is it wrong to drink?” And for a long time I used to think that there was a right and wrong answer – yes or no. I often errored with the side of yes. But as I grow up and make my faith my own, I am realizing that things aren’t always so black and white. Allow me to explain…

I used to never drink alcohol. Before I was 21 it was illegal and therefore, clearly, wrong. But even on my 21^st birthday I never consumed a drop of alcohol. My friends and I had enough fun without the aid of alcohol. Plus, I went to a conservative Christian college where drinking was punished with a heavy fine and hours of community service. I am not an intentional rule breaker. More than the fear of getting in trouble, I felt a moral obligation not to drink. I was secure on my stance and would quickly offer my reasons to anyone who inquired…

1. The thing I feared most was that my friends would see me drinking and use it to justify drunkenness (which leads to a world of other sins). This is why I was super careful not to ever let a picture of me with a drink or a red cup (even if it only contained soda) to appear on Facebook. I never wanted anyone to be able to use the phrase, “Well Miranda drinks and she is a Christian so it must be ok.” I also never wanted to cause anyone to stumble – Romans 14:20.

2. I saw the ill effects of alcohol within my extended family so I never truly had a desire to drink. The alcohol I saw growing up was never “fun” or “cool.”

3. “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” via 1 Corinthians 10:23. I didn’t see the benefits of drinking, even if it was legal. I thought it was a waste of money and calories. And I still think most beer tastes like piss.

It wasn’t until this year that I had a paradigm shift (my former English teachers would be so proud that I just used that in a sentence, unless I used it incorrectly). The controversial question triggered me to question my role as a Christian. How do I adapt to life as a Christian in the real world, outside the bubble of my Christian campus where I had been coddled 24/7 with an insane amount of structure, love, and truth? I sent a novel sized e-mail to one of my BFFs, Jess, with all of my thoughts, feelings, and questions. She promptly returned my e-mail with challenging advice and her opinions, which she had gathered from reading Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz.

It was certainly at that moment that I realized I didn’t want to be known as a Christian for what I didn’t do – drink, curse, sleep around, etc. Because I wanted to be known for what I did do – love, encourage, forgive, etc. I wanted people to know I was a Christian, not because I wouldn’t go have a drink with them on Friday night, but because I loved them unconditionally. Does that make sense?

I love this Donald Miller quote from Blue Like Jazz…

“I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.”

My life is my testimony and I hope that my love and passion for Christ makes it easier for others to love and follow Him too.

So, yes, on occasion I can be found sipping a (a as in one) captain & coke. And at special events, or sometimes after a long night at work, I enjoy a glass of wine. But I don’t think that’s wrong. I am secure enough in my own faith to know how to recognize the devil’s schemes. I think Beth Moore summed it up best in her devo Looking Up when she says, “Though he (the devil) tailors the specifics to fit individual weaknesses, I believe Satan’s basic progressive plan remains consistent: distraction->addiction->destruction.” The devil is always looking to destroy you, that is true for everything in your life, not just drinking. Stand up for what you believe in, know your temptations, and live a life of love.

“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator.” – Ecclesiastes 12:1

these days

2011-11-06T21:26:00.004-05:00

This might seem like a downer of a post and if it comes across that way then I blame my fever and the fact that I can't remember my last day off, but I just had to get this off my chest...

"Have you ever felt like you're running very fast just to stay in the same place?"

If there was one quote to sum up my life right now I do believe this would be it. Sometimes its hard for me to see God's big picture. And I just had to express my struggle because I know I'm not the only one and I'm not one to fake having it all together. I work so hard and so much and I don't feel like I am any further ahead. How do you get ahead? I can't work more than 3 jobs without more hours in a day or possibly a time-turner (HP reference), but paying bills every month is a struggle. Am I just naive? Is this just life? This season of life sure is a tough one, but I know I will come out of it stronger and more reliant on God because right now I rely on Him for EVERYTHING.

Sometimes I just go through little phases where I wonder what in the world I am doing with my life. Because I want to be careful not to waste it. And I occasionally wonder if I'm making a difference or if any of this would really matter. But all of that would probably be solved with a vacation. Or maybe just a day off. Or a baby white holland lop bunny (hint hint Brie)

swan lake

2011-10-30T21:28:00.009-04:00

For Halloween this year Brie & I decided to go as the Black Swan and the White Swan from Swan Lake! This was made even easier when Brie decided to dye her hair to look like mine making us look more alike than we already do (we were originally going to be Alice and the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland). I think the outfits were a hit, but my favorite part was designing our costumes. I've made my Halloween costume every year for quite a few years now - click here for a look back. It gives me an excuse to unleash my inner fashionista and also an excuse to blame any fashion flops on the phrase, "So what? It was just a Halloween costume." I love Halloween just because you get to dress up and be someone/something else for one night out of the year. To me, that is magical!

And now for a behind the scenes look at our Black Swan/White Swan costumes...

Our tops were made from oversized black and white t-shirts that I cut to be off the shoulder. Then I added feathers, rhinestones, sequins and so much glitter that it looks like a fairy got murdered in our house. The tutus were made by taking a small feather boa and attaching strips of toile - easy peasy!

My crown was made from an old one (previously silver and pink!) I took a sharpie and colored over as much silver as I could, glued on extra black feathers, and dripped black candle wax over the front. Brie's feather hair pieces were made from 6 feathers, 3 on each side, and attached with rhinestone bobby pins!

Our makeup was a combination of glittery black and white makeup, bright lipsticks, a black and white costume makeup palette, and fake eyelashes of course!

We finished off our outfits with black and white tights and ballet flats! One of my favorite costumes by far.

*All makeup credit goes to Brie*

lessons learned

2011-10-26T20:15:00.003-04:00

I think I finally figured out those "lessons" my parents were trying to teach me when I broke my foot...

1. Invest in a good pedicure at all times.

2. Drink more milk.

3. Aflac Accident Insurance.

"Even children become tired and need to rest, and young people trip and fall." - Isaiah 40:30

healing is hard work

2011-10-16T22:02:00.003-04:00

This has been quite the week of accomplishments - first time wearing matching shoes in 6 weeks, first time walking without the assistance of crutches/surgical shoes/rolly desk chairs/the closest stationary object in 6 weeks, and the first week back at work in 6 weeks! The people I work with are so sweet to me. I always start work with just a little catch in my step and end work in a full limp, but they are so quick to help me out. It's good to be back.

I still have to wear the surgical shoe when I'm not at work for another week. My bone isn't completely healed so I have to be careful, but I can't even explain how good it feels to be mobile. I just want to run a million miles (not all at once). I don't think I have ever sat so still so long in my entire life and that's the truth, just ask any of my former teachers. In about a month or so I'll be able to start running and dancing again and THAT day can't come soon enough!

Slow and steady. I'm on the mend!

bookworm

2011-10-04T15:27:00.002-04:00

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not a nerd. Really. But I do like to read sometimes. Not in a socially outcast way or even a studious way, but I do occasionally read for reasons more than to pass time on the elliptical. I am often too quick to say, "why read the book when you can watch the movie?" but I will admit that some of the best books I've ever read were ones that I read long before they were ever in the talks of becoming films. I think my English teachers would be very shocked/proud to know how much more I enjoy reading than I ever let them know. And even though I don't think I could ever confess it to them, I really did love reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn in 8th grade Advanced English even if our book was two times thicker than the other classes. Same with Macbeth in 12th grade. Some of my good friends know about my not-so-publicized recreational reading and I love when I can recommend good books to them. That got me thinking about some of my favorite books so I decided to list some here:

Some of my all-time favorites:

The Divine Dance by Shannon Primicerio (now Shannon Kubiak)

Stuart Little by E.B. White

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

Follow the Stars Home by Luanne Rice

One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer

Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio by Terry Ryan

66 Love Letters by Larry Crabb

& pretty much any book by Max Lucado

Some pretty great books I've read this past year:

The Hunger Games Series by Suzanne Collins

We Bought a Zoo by Benjamin Mee

Bossypants by Tina Fey

Plan B by Pete Wilson

13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (weird, but in a good way)

Books I want to read:

Winged Creatures by Roy Freirich

Happy Accidents by Jane Lynch

Before I Die by Jenny Downham

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah

What books would you recommend?

fandemonium

2011-10-02T16:16:00.005-04:00

I've always considered myself a fairly avid movie watcher/book reader...you know, somewhere safely between watching movies on hulu to dressing up like characters from a movie at every Thursday's midnight showing...between reading restaurant menus and having my own book club. In my lifetime I have survived two major opportunities for what I like to think of as "fandemonium" where books and movies collide and create this unique breed of people who love what they have read and seen so much that it has a pretty profound effect on their lives. First being, Harry Potter. Don't get me wrong, I am a fan, just a more balanced one. I own neither a cape, wand, or an HP lego set. Nor do I practice spells in my free time or decorate my room with cardboard cutouts of the characters. I am, however, excited for Pottermore (not registered early, that is for the crazies) and getting to pick out my pet, finding out which wand I get, and being sorted into a house - my BFF Loisann and I are aware that although we favor Gryffindor our non-confrontational and easy going personalities will most likely land us in Hufflepuff. I also wouldn't mind enjoying a butter beer in Orlando.

The next phase of "fandemonium" was easier for me to resist. I still to this day have never read a Stephanie Meyer book and I don't think I will ever fully comprehend the desire to live as a vampire forever. I did not see Twilight until after it had come out on DVD and my roommate Amanda had convinced me to give it a chance. I figured since almost every girl I knew was practically obsessed and one of my best friends, Jen, had seen it in the movie theater several times alone AND skipped class to read the books that it was worth a shot. When I first watched it I wasn't sure that I really liked it, but there was no doubt I found it intriguing. I don't think I blinked much. Oh, and I had a nightmare about vampires that night. When the second movie came out I saw it at midnight with my friends. Not because I had turned into a crazy fan overnight, but because if I didn't go with them at midnight (with literally everyone else) then I wouldn't have anyone to see it with later. Plus, I had never read the books and I really wanted to know what happened next. All that to say, I kind of did like the movies. I will probably see the next one at midnight sans the fangs and white powder makeup (I'm pale enough to go without) because I like hype. And I know you are wondering, I'm Team Jacob.

Now, if I had to take a guess at the next wave of "fandemonium" to hit I'd say it will come around March when the Hunger Games Series FINALLY hits theaters. I read the books last year and I love them in that obsessive way that people loved Harry Potter and the Twilight Series, which I sometimes find odd because the books are very violent and uncharacteristic of me. I don't think I could pinpoint what it is exactly about the books that captivated me so but they did. And in 172 days, 6 hours, and 41 minutes I will probably be dressed up with my mockingjay pin and in line with a bunch of other crazies that I laughed at in years past. [This is a warning in advance.] In fact, I have already registered and been assigned my district at the Capital - DISTRICT 8! I am actually quite satisfied with that district too - it is where all of the clothes are made. They must have known I love fashion. Plus, I was having somewhat of an identity crisis when I saw that on all of the fan-made maps of Panem the part of the US that I really live in was always underwater, making it difficult to to find favor with a particular district...though technically I'm probably closest to 12. In the books I related most to 4 because I live near the ocean and 11 because Rue was my favorite character. Ok, enough talk about HG b/c I'm certain this won't be the last you hear! Are you a fan?

a prayer for my future husband

2011-09-28T02:44:00.003-04:00

Dear God,

If there is someone out there for me then I pray that he waits for me. And whoever he is, wherever he is, I hope he thinks I’m worth that wait because he will probably end up waiting on me a lot. Like when I try and decide on what flavor ice cream to get or when I do my hair (blast those unruly curls!) And please let him love dancing - at parties, in socks in the kitchen, and in the rain (NOT a hurricane). He doesn’t have to like fashion at all but I hope he tolerates it enough to let me enjoy it. In return, I’ll give him and his buddies snacks and full reign of the TV for Monday Night Football. If I haven’t met him yet I hope we meet in a funny way that makes a good story. And if we have met...who is it?!?! I hope he is silly, but that he takes his faith seriously. I want him to love me, but You more. Bless that boy in advance for voluntarily spending the rest of his life connected to my crazy family. I pray the reason we are apart now is because you are doing big things in each of us and that when we are together its only because our ministry is better together. Keep us together, forever. And Lord, if there isn’t someone out there for me please give me a passion for something I can fully commit to and emerge myself in. And a good dog. Or two. Because you know I’m allergic to cats.

Amen.

accidents happen

2011-09-26T15:04:00.006-04:00

MY CAST IS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought this day would come, but my foot is finally free! And it feels so ~~great~~ sore. I have two weeks in a surgical shoe that would make Christian Louboutin cry (perhaps I should paint the bottom red?) and then hopefully I can go back to matching shoes again, oh, and work. In case you haven't been keeping up, I present to you:

My accident by numbers...

0 amount of money in USD that I have made in the past month

1 broken bone

2 crutches

3 casts

4 x-rays

5 x 10 = a rough estimate of how much this entire fiasco has cost me

This is by far the most expensive dance I've ever done. I'm just so thankful I didn't have to go through the entire rainbow of casts before getting it off for good.

forever fan

2011-09-23T22:32:00.013-04:00

It is officially Fall which means my mailbox is getting flooded with letters from my alma mater a) asking for money (I'm still paying off the 4 years I was there!) & b) encouraging me to come to Homecoming! It actually makes me a little sad to think I will probably be missing Homecoming this year. Right now I'm just hoping for walking privileges...I haven't even thought about driving ones yet. Baby steps, literally. I've never missed a Homecoming game. I've also only been out of school for 2 years, but still. I remember before I graduated how I told myself that I would always make it to the LU Homecoming game no matter where I lived or what was going on. I was going to go every year until I died and when I got older and had kids I would drag them along and make them like it. I really told myself that. But I've learned life and circumstances aren't always so compliant. I really do miss LU. My 4 years of college were single-handedly the best 4 years of my life, so far. And I think sometimes I give LU too hard of a time b/c I complain about student loans and how expensive college was when I really did get a decent amount of scholarships from them. And while it still was RIDICULOUSLY expensive (private school will do that) it was worth it for the education, experience, and life-long friends I left with. Plus, it is really organizations like FAFSA and SallieMae that I should complain about. Sidenote: if you want to skip the momentary complaining don't read the italics below.

Let me just get this off my chest and save you some time. If you have two parents that are working and trying to provide for your family you will get nothing from FAFSA. That's right, nothing. You WILL however have to fill out the 3284023 million pieces of paper/online mess to apply for it. But you will get nothing. Tell me how that is fair? I am being punished because my parents work. If your parents don't work then you are lucky b/c you will probably get a lot. Even if one of your parents doesn't work you will at least get something. Tell your parents to quit their jobs before you apply for school and you will probably get to go for free. I'm only half joking. As for SallieMae...don't be fooled into thinking you can get out of your student loans. You can't. Even if you die, your family will be burdened with them. Take a look at your student loan balance (try not to cry) and then double it b/c by the time you pay it off 20 years later the interest will have practically doubled. SallieMae doesn't care if you aren't using your degree, if you barely have enough money to survive, or like I said, if you die. Rant over.

Back to LU. I am proud of my school. I seriously love my school. I honestly believe the students that graduate from there will change the world for Christ. And when you are doing big things for God there are always going to be haters. And I think LU gets a bad rep sometimes b/c of the rules or the founder or (insert some ridiculous rumor here). And maybe its because I grew up in VA and LU is in VA but I sometimes think the worst haters are the ones that go to other VA colleges and think their school is so much better than ours. For example, UVA. Ok, so you're smart, we get it. You're also probably boring. And for Tech and VCU and JMU and ODU and whatever other schools think it is impossible to have fun without being wasted I ask you this...does this not look like fun to you?

I'll stop there before there is too much irony in my words. And before I get bad comments on this post. I'm not a hater, I'm just saying. If you want to know what LU is like from an outside perspective I encourage you to read this book, The Unlikely Disciple. But a better way to know what it is like is to check out this video...

OR take a look back this post to see why I love(d) college.

Want to know my favorite part of college? Remembering it.

dancing in the rain

2011-09-21T15:15:00.006-04:00

I am days away from getting my (third) cast off and freedom is so close I can practically taste it. This has been a very trying month. I think I have a new definition of humbled...

hum·bled

[adj.]

1. To watch one's bank account slowly drain while not being able to walk, drive or work.

My parents have also been "teaching me a lesson" this month by not helping with any medical bills as to not encourage my irresponsibility. Because we all know I broke my foot on purpose...not. What I find most funny about the situation is that my mom quickly offered to pay for my handicap parking pass provided she gets to use it whenever she wants. At least someone is benefiting from my accident. I think there is a lesson for them to learn in the midst of all of this too and it can be summed up in one little quote.

There is no way a little rain, setback, or empty bank account will ever stop me from dancing my way through life.

sketch

2011-09-20T15:30:00.009-04:00

A few years ago my sister introduced me to the world of sketchbooks. Her sketchbooks were so creative and fun that it inspired me to start my own. I've kept the same one for a while now and I love it. Sketchbooks are such a perfect outlet for me to express myself and document my likes and interests in so many different ways. My book is filled with quotes and paintings and collages of an eclectic mesh of fashion, dreams, memories & even my bucket list! I think everyone should start their own, its like the trendy new version of scrapbooking. I, for one, can't wait to finish my current sketchbook and start a new one of these smash books.

If you're looking for a little inspiration take a look below at a few pages from my book or check out the journal prompts on the Lily Girl's Magazine site...

fashion favorites

2011-09-17T19:07:00.016-04:00

This past week while most Americans gathered around their televisions eating chips for the start of football season, I was glued to Style.com's live stream of Fashion Week eating carrots...I was watching models after all! Ok, ok so I was eating chips too. I try to like football I really do, but I just love fashion and dancing and cooking shows so much more. Perhaps if I had a favorite team I'd be more involved, but I'm waiting to adopt the team favorite of whoever I marry. Or maybe I will just pick a team based on mascot (I know enough about football to know the Dolphins aren't good) or team colors (which makes it awfully hard to root for the Redskins). For now I will just enjoy uninterrupted fashion. Here are a few of my favs from the 2012 Spring RTW lines...

Tory Burch

Rodarte - Never a disappointment with their shows!

Rodarte again...this reminds of me of what I imagined Katniss' dress from The Hunger Games to look like. What do you think?

Oscar de la Renta - Gorgeous as usual!

Nanette Lepore - I loved all of the shoes from this line!

Marchesa - ALWAYS a favorite of mine!

Erin Fetherston

Christian Siriano

Alice + Olivia

3.1 Philip Lim - LOVE the pastels!

**click the photos to make them larger, all photos from style.com!

casted (still)

2011-09-12T22:39:00.010-04:00

I have been casted for 2 weeks now! Wow! The official diagnosis? A spiral fracture to the shaft of my 5th metatarsal...which translates to "a really bad break in the part of your foot that takes a long time to heal" in English. Immediately after receiving my diagnosis I flooded google with the following searches:

How long until I can dance after breaking my foot?

What is a spiral fracture?

5th metatarsal fracture healing time

How long does it take a fracture to heal?

When can I get my cast off?

How long do I have to wear a cast?

How do you take off your cast yourself?

Dance Moms (my newest obsession)

When google wasn't providing the answers I was looking for I turned to my friends Sandi and Jen. Sandi provided me with the most realistic information (aka the stuff I didn't want to hear) in the most loving way. Jen provided me with funny YouTube videos and this informative link about my fracture (also ironically called "Dancer's Fracture): click this if you like medical jargon about feet!

Summarized: "The junction between the base of the metatarsal and the shaft is the area which creates the most problems when fractured. The reason for the difficulty is that bone healing relies upon good circulation, and this particular area of the bone has a notoriously poor blood supply. Fractures of the shaft of the metatarsal occur commonly as a result of twisting of the foot when landing from a jump, for example in ballet dancers, and these heal very rapidly in a stiff shoe without any need for surgery."

That explains that. Except...why am I in a cast and not a stiff shoe?!?! Exactly the point I brought up to my doctor today. While tears filled my eyes he calmly explained the need for a cast, the dangers of taking it off too soon, and the risk of re-breaking my foot. We finally came to a compromise. I traded in my hot pink non-weight bearing cast for a baby blue weight bearing cast for 2 more weeks and then the cast comes off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surely I can last two more weeks. Ironically I also read this verse in my devo this week...

"Even children become tried and need to rest, and young people trip and fall." - Isaiah 40:30 (NCV)

The Lord knew I needed a "break" and this is still part of His plan even if it wasn't part of mine.

"All the days planned for me were written in your book, before I was one day old." - Psalm 139:16 (NCV)

Bye bye pink cast!

allow me to explain

2011-09-08T17:25:00.008-04:00

A few weeks ago I was blog stalking a friend of a friend's blog and I came upon a post she wrote about personality types. When I was at LU I took a women's ministry class where we took several personality tests and I remember being so surprised at how spot on the results were for both my strengths and weaknesses. I am now a huge advocate of knowing my friend's and families personality types (& love languages!) b/c I truly think it helps me to love, understand, and relate to them better. And to help everyone get to know who I am and why I do what I do I present to you my personality test results from Myers-Briggs & Gary Smalley.

ENFP

[extraverted intuitive feeling perceiving]

defined :

ENFPs are initiators of change, keenly perceptive of possibilities. They energize and stimulate others through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in fluid situations that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma. They tend to idealize people, and can be disappointed when reality fails to fulfill their expectations. They are easily frustrated if a project requires a great deal of follow-up or attention to detail. (via wikipedia)

explained:

"outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking..." (via ENFP Jung Type Descriptions)

which would explain this...

"ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone, especially on a regular basis." (via ENFP Profile on TypeLogic)

which is why I think breaking my foot and having to sit still for 6 weeks is absolutely the pits!

"Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivious to these types of concerns." (via ENFP Personalitypage.com)

which is why I often forget to bump my appetizers at work, i leave clean and folded laundry sitting on the stairs for days (sorry Mom!) at home, and the time on the clock in my car is always an hour ahead or behind.

SANGUINE

[aka Otter]

defined:

The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when pursuing a new hobby, interest is lost quickly when it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. People of sanguine temperament can often be emotional. (via wiki)

explained:

"Sanguines prefer to live in big cities where they can satisfy their craving for variety much easier." (via askwomennet.com)

which is further proof why I belong back in NYC.

"In addition to being spontaneous, Sanguine personalities are sincere. Their moods change quickly, but they don't pretend. They really do feel the way they do. They don't stay mad long, and they don't hold grudges. They are quick to see and admit their own mistakes, and aren't ashamed of apologizing for them." (via Ellen McCormick)

which pretty much sums up all of my blog posts from the past two years.

"Because Sanguines always want to be the center of attention, this lively person is many times a show off or class clown." (via Gospel Gazette)

which somewhat justifies all of those detentions in school and resonates with any of my classmates that were in class with me during 8th grade Advanced English, Geography, Trig, French 3, COMS101, COMS360 and any art class taken at GHS. it also explains why i had an assigned seat in class as a college sophomore.

**Here is a link to a pretty accurate explanation/test for Gary Smalley's Personality Traitst: Click me!

There are about 1 million (Sanguines tend to exaggerate) personality tests out there and it is pretty easy to get sucked into trying them all out. For example, I am also a "Squiggle" according to Psycho-Geometrics, "Tigger" according to 100 Acre Wood Characters, and "Type B" according to the Jacob Goldsmith theory. However, I think Myers-Briggs and Gary Smalley's seem to be the most accurate IMO. So, friends, what is your personality type?!?!

And remember..."God could have made us all Sanguines. We could have lots of fun but accomplish little. He could have made us all Melancholies. We would have been organized and charted but not very cheerful. He could have made us all Cholerics. We would have been set to lead, but impatient that no one would follow! He could have made us all Phlegmatics. We would have had a peaceful world but not much enthusiam for life. We need each temperament for the total function of the body. Each part should do its work to unify the action and produce harmonious results." - Florence Littaur.

hahahahahahaha

2011-09-07T21:19:00.003-04:00

i survived hurricane irene!

2011-08-29T22:01:00.010-04:00

Hurricane Irene has finally come & gone! I think it hit just about every major city on the east coast as it blew through this weekend. Lucky for us, we really had no damage other than the power still being out as per usual. Oh yeah, and just a little personal property damage, like a broken foot. Yes, a broken foot. Brie, Matt and I thought it would be really fun to go out in the middle of the storm and dance. It was really fun until I bit it on the driveway. (see video below) I will never live this down. I went to bed that night with a throbbing foot and the next day Brie and Matt thought I was faking a hobble to get out of work. Sunday I cried enough to make my parents concerned and they took me to the ER where we found out I had, indeed, broken my swollen foot. The whole ER visit was actually rather comical. When the x-ray tech took me back and x-rayed my foot she went to leave the room and said, "I'll be right back, I'm going to grab a wheelchair." and I said, "IS IT THAT BAD??!?" to which she quickly replied, "Let's just say you walked in here and you're being wheeled out." Worst. They splinted me up and today I went to the ortho to receive my hot pink cast which I will be wearing for 6 weeks (over my dead body). This has got to be the worst case scenario. Six weeks at home. No work. No driving. I keep going through a roller coaster of emotions where I find myself hysterically laughing (this WOULD happen to me) to hysterically crying (WHY did this happen to me?) And even though it is pretty funny, I'm super bummed. I have worked so hard these past few months, working 2-3 jobs alllll the time only to arrive right back at square one. The goal was to save up and move out ASAP and now I am confined to my house. I don't get it. I just don't get it. My parents already act like I am a huge inconvenience and now I can't work, drive, or bear weight on my foot yet I am expected to keep up with all of my bills, including this new medical one. When I asked God for a break this isn't exactly what I meant. I'm not quite sure how I am going to juggle everything these next few months but I'm trying to take comfort in knowing that this happened for some reason. And now...for what you have all been waiting for...my broken bone caught on camera!

forces of nature

2011-08-23T23:14:00.005-04:00

Maybe this is God's way of telling me to get out of VA...

EARTH

5.9 Earthquake

WIND

Hurricane Irene

FIRE

Dismal Swamp Fire

FLY

2011-08-18T00:26:00.003-04:00

now is good

2011-08-11T01:11:00.006-04:00

One of my friends just recently finished reading Priscilla Shrier's book "One in a Million" and posted a blog entry about some of the most relevant takeaways she had learned from reading it. Reading her blog triggered a flood of memories of my own experience reading that life changing book. After all, it was about this time last year that I finished it. Remember?

There was one particular little excerpt my friend pointed out that really struck a chord with me this time around and I couldn't help but re-post it here:

"So when the time for weeping came to an end, it meant they (the Israelites) chose to stop participating in the act of mourning. And at some point, like the children of Israel, we too must choose not to participate in mournful acts anymore. This doesn't mean our hearts are no longer saddened or that tears no longer fall from our eyes. It just means we've stopped acting in a way that keeps us focused on what we've lost or left behind. This isn't easy for me to suggest to you because it isn't easy for me to do. To stop acting sad when I feel sad is difficult. I still enjoy talking about the details of my hurt feelings on the phone with my girlfriends and rehearsing the issues in my mind, dwelling on the sacrifices I've made (or have been forced to make). But at some point mourning is no longer appropriate. We must move on. A new day is dawning. It always does when God is drawing us toward the Promised Land."

For a long time I was pretty hurt and kind of sad. It felt like everyday wasn't necessarily getting worse, but it definitely wasn't getting any better. And I don't know that there was ever actually an "Aha!" moment where things started to click and 180 themselves into something better, but little by little, day by day, things really are getting there. I find myself goofing off more, laughing, and genuinely getting back to my old self. What a whirlwind this year has been! I almost feel a little like Alice in Wonderland when she fell through the rabbit hole and did so much changing she hardly knew who she was...

"Who are YOU?" said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for conversation.

Alice replied, rather shyly, "I -- I hardly know, sir, just a the present -- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."

Some days I didn't feel like myself at all. I've been through a lot of changes this year and I know its only so that the Lord can make me better. I have to remind myself of that when challenges are placed in front of me - only so that I can get better, so that I can be better.

My only regret now is (also in the words of Alice herself) ...

"I wish I hadn't cried so much."

genius

2011-08-05T00:48:00.004-04:00

trumpet, the trumpet

2011-08-04T23:20:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I really wish I had some secret musical talent. Truth is, my musical talent doesn't go much further than guitar hero (which counts, right?) For the record I know 3 songs on the piano and oh yeah, there was that entire year/semester in middle school when I played the trumpet. Yes, the trumpet. I still can't help but laugh looking back on it, esp. the fact that I was even in band to begin with. Can you imagine? I think it must have been a requirement in middle school because everyone I know took at least 1 year or semester of band. So why in the world did I choose the trumpet? Well, I like to think that the instrument chose me but there are three good reasons why we were united. 1) Drums were too heavy. 2) For some reason I could not play woodwind instruments so my dreams of playing saxophone were quickly crushed. But mostly I blame numero 3) Mambo #5. Trumpet, the trumpet!

room with a view

2011-07-31T23:24:00.003-04:00

It was about this time (literally) last year when I made the decision to move home. I still think it is single handedly the worst decision I have ever made as it has been the worst year of my life, however, I know there is purpose and meaning behind it. As awful and hard as this year has been, God has still been gracious enough to give me a sprinkle of blessings. For example...

- Even though work keeps me from seeing her as often as I like, I now live less than 5 miles from my BFF as opposed to 100+ miles.

- I have a job I actually like (that probably pays about the same) with people my own age. And I don't have to sit at a desk by myself for 8 hours!

- I was the only one home holding our sweet dog when she started having seizures and had to be put to sleep.

- I was able to help my sister plan her wedding. AND I got to help Matt plan their engagement.

- I got to spend more than a weekend at home for the holidays!

- The beach. No other words needed.

- I spent every week dancing in ballet class.

- & I was blessed with some awesome mentors and friends who poured into my life and reached out to me when I was hurting.

The Lord has taught me a lot about myself and really humbled me this past year. I know that things will fall into place as soon as He is done shaping and molding me into who He wants me to be. Which, let's be honest, is hopefully sooner than later.

random ramblings

2011-07-26T01:04:00.008-04:00

my most recent obsessions...

Bunnies...still, I know. They are just too cute!

Toasted marshmallow creme. Is there anything better?

Feather hair extensions. I need Tab to do this to my hair ASAP.

Wasting time on www.pinterest.com.

Mandia's ENTIRE "What if We Were Real" album. I can't even pick a favorite song, they are ALL sooooo good! How am I just now discovering this?

The Row & Toms!!!!!! I've always been a fan of MK&A.

danger

2011-07-19T23:37:00.004-04:00

I think it is a little more than obvious that my family has been through some rough water this year. And maybe its because I grew up by the beach, but I can't help but think of these hard times as a huge rip current. You see, rip currents are usually caused by storms (sometimes miles and miles away!) that create a break in the waves where water is pulled back out to sea. They are so strong that if you get caught in one there is absolutely no way to swim back to shore, you have to go with the current or you'll practically drown. Kinda hard to explain so click here if you didn't grow up on the coast. What is important to note here are these 3 things:

1. Rip currents are caused by storms - anything that can shake things up and cause a mess in the water, or in my case, my life. I found myself in a rip current when a series of unfortunate events caused me to question and doubt everything I knew to be true. Things like Nahum 1:7, "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him."

2. Getting caught in a rip current pulls you further and further from where you want/need to be...the shore! I found myself straying far away from God during the time that I needed Him the most. Hebrews 13:5 - "Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you."

3. It is much easier to get out of a rip current when you have a little help. Lord knows I could use a little help here. "My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." - Psalm 121:2.

It is about time I quit swimming against the current and trusted God to get me safely to the shore. Why do we even bother exhausting ourselves swimming...fighting through life...when all we really need to do is surrender to the only one who can really help us?

Pray that I'll soon be returned to safe shores and a calm sea!

big brother

2011-07-16T23:00:00.014-04:00

The big day has come and gone! My sister is officially a married girl & I now have a new big brother!! Everything leading up to the wedding was super stressful but the wedding day itself went surprisingly smooth! The wedding location was beautiful, the weather was perfect, the DJ was rockin' and her photographer was the best ever! My sister is so crafty and I love that practically everything in her wedding was a DIY project - including the bouquets and her cake. Here is a little sneak peek until we get the official photos back from Alicia...

terrifical

2011-07-14T01:22:00.005-04:00

For everyone who didn't have the pleasure of knowing me as a third grader, I give you this...

It was about this time last year when I went to see this movie in the theater with my friend Beth. It brought back a flood of memories from third grade. Not only did my third grade teacher, Mrs. Abbitt, LOVE Beverly Clearly books (especially Ramona) but I spent a lot of ~~third grade~~ life accidentally getting into trouble so I could completely relate to poor Ramona. If you haven't seen the movie and/or read the books you need to STAT. They are all so good!

these days

2011-07-11T02:16:00.002-04:00

day dreaming

2011-07-05T12:23:00.003-04:00

i could really use a vacation...

rules of a lady

2011-06-22T01:50:00.010-04:00

the summer bucket list

2011-06-21T00:31:00.006-04:00

My BFF graduated with her Masters degree from JMU and has FINALLY returned home for good. Since it has been a while since the two of us have had a summer together we decided to really make it fun by concocting a summer bucket list. We have from now (the first day of summer) until September 23 (the first day of autumn) to finish! Check it out...

1. go skinny dipping

2. meet Adam Levine

3. watch all of the Harry Potter movies in one day

4. get a tattoo and/or piercing

5. spend a day surfing

6. sleep under the stars

7. tye dye an entire outfit, including undies, and wear it in public

8. finish an entire season of a tv show (suggestions welcome)

9. fry an egg on the sidewalk

10. shoot a gun

11. learn a dance routine

12. add to our BFF scrapbooks

little lies

2011-06-16T23:50:00.003-04:00

"There's a devil on my shoulder baby

and I believe too many things he says

I'm fighting these fears

as I find them true

& I'm sorry for hurting you."

- Dave Barnes

where to?

2011-06-11T16:06:00.006-04:00

I think the only way to get on/started with my life is with a completely fresh start, a new place, a little change. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the 757. It will always be home to me. But I can't help but think about what other places have to offer. Even though I'd be perfectly content living here forever, it would probably compromise my dreams. And now is the best time to be chasing after those dreams, you know, while I have no other commitments and nothing holding me back (ok, except for maybe finances). But how do you possibly decide where to go? Throw a dart at a map on the wall (remember when Mary Kate & Ashley used to do this to determine where their next movie/adventure would be)? Pull a city out of a hat? Make a list of pros and cons? There are so many great places it makes it practically impossible to choose. One city has my heart, another has better job opportunities, one is cheaper, one is safer... One of my biggest flaws (or dare I say attributes) is that I ~~often~~ always make decisions based on my heart and not my head. So perhaps I should seek some wisdom from family and friends on this one.

"You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be."

you may say i'm a dreamer

2011-06-10T00:26:00.004-04:00

"Basically, what we have here is a dreamer. Somebody out of touch with reality. When she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly."

- The Virgin Suicides

ing

2011-06-08T13:59:00.006-04:00

ing

wearing: an aerie flower tank, grey cardigan, skinny jeans, & flips
listening: to coldplay's "strawberry swing" - the perfect song for summer.
reading: finally finished "the hunger games" (awesome!) & now on the waitlist for tina fey's "bossypants"
watching: real housewives of new jersey. can't. get. enough.
doing: work. work. work.
loving: the marc jacobs 2012 resort collection, esp. this pink tutu...

& this purple marchesa dress!

hating: that my friends are spread out across the united states.
wishing: it wasn't 100 degrees outside.
wanting: the iphone 5 to come out this summer!

brie's bridal shower

2011-06-07T10:55:00.014-04:00

This weekend was my sister's bridal shower and it was nothing short of amazing thanks to my Aunt Patsy! If you have been reading my blog for some time you probably already know how awesome my aunt is (see here, here, & here) but this time her and my Uncle Gil really outdid themselves! I really want them to start their own catering/event planning company (hint hint)!!!!!

The bridal shower was Shabby Chic Tea Party themed and the pictures below do not do justice to how beautiful everything looked in real life. Everyone sat around the table together and drank tea, had scones with clotted cream, lots of finger sandwiches (including cucumber!), & of course many mini desserts :) After tea we played some hilarious games, watched Brie open her gifts, and goofed off in the homemade photo booth. Yes, my aunt and uncle are that cool/creative to make their own photo booth!!! I know Brie was so thankful to be surrounded by so many loving friends and family members. I think it was a nice break for everyone to relax and enjoy time together. I can't believe Brie is going to be married in just a little over a month! Time is flying by!

the secret life of bees

2011-06-03T01:06:00.003-04:00

By now my nose was running along with my eyes. I was sniffling, wiping my cheeks, unable to stop my mouth from spewing out every horrible thing I could drum up about myself and once I was finished...well, if she could love me then, if she could say, Lily you are still a special flower planted on the earth, then maybe I would be able to look in the mirrors in her parlor and see the river glistening in my eyes, flowing on despite the things that had died in it.

"But all of that, that's nothing," I said. I was on my feet needing to go someplace, but there was no place to go. We were on an island. A floating blue island in a pink house where I spilled my guts and then hoped I wasn't tossed out to sea to wait for my punishment.

...

Probably one or two moments in your whole life you will hear a dark whispering spirit, a voice coming from the center of things. It will have blades for lips and will not stop until it speaks the one secret thing at the heart of it all. Kneeling on the floor, unable to stop shuddering, I heard it plainly. It said, You are unlovable, Lily Owens. Unlovable. Who could love you? Who in this world could ever love you?

I sank farther down, onto my heels, hardly aware of myself mumbling the words out loud. "I am unlovable." When I looked up, I saw dust particles floating in the lamplight, August standing looking down at me. I thought she might try to pull me to my feet, but instead she knelt beside me and brushed the hair back from my face.

"You listen to me now, there is love all around you."

- The Secret Life of Bees-

broken

2011-06-01T23:17:00.002-04:00

all the thoughts in my head

2011-05-31T21:31:00.004-04:00

Here is what has been on my mind lately:

1. My current obsession with The Real Housewives of NJ, especially Jacqueline Laurita (my favorite).

2. What ever happened to Wonderballs? Aka the greatest candy ever.

3. How much I really want a white holland lop bunny.

4. The fact that there are 3498504354 thousand million things I need to do, which makes me really wish humans hibernated like bears because I would kill for a loooong nap about now.

5. The dull pain in my left foot that hasn't gone away since it started on Mother's Day.

6. My full intentions to start a new bible study/devo tomorrow morning because Lord knows I could use the accountability in my life.

7. Why I feel the need to add lots of links to things I post in my blog?

8. And, like everyone else, my interest in watching the cat hugging video on repeat. IT IS SO CUTE!! Click here.

That's all.

i scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM

2011-05-30T14:20:00.003-04:00

It was about this time last year when I was still living in the burg, most days stayed in the 90's and I was eating blue goo ice cream from Mister Goodies everyday that I decided I should buy my own ice cream machine. And I'm not talking dinky little Cuisinart (though I would gladly settle for that now) I'm talking the big boys - like this one from Taylor. I was seriously on to something. I did a little math and those ice cream vendors have to make bank in the summer. It didn't help that around this time I was seriously contemplating leaving my job (which I also did not too long after). And now that summer is practically back in full force I can't help but still think this is a good idea. I mean, how fun would it be to come up with your own flavor combos? Like Sundae Grill's "Playdough" ice cream - bright yellow vanilla ice cream with sugar cookie chunks and rainbow sprinkles. Or "Breakfast Bash" with pancakes, waffles, and french toast from Max & Mina's. What a fun job. I think I'm still suffering from post-grad syndrome. I just have no idea what I'm doing with my life. The longer I've been out of school the more I feel like the "luxury" of choosing what I get to do is just an illusion. I love where I went to school but I sure wish they had set me up for success. I also wish you were exempt from paying student loans if you weren't using your degree. Just sayin'

reality is a nice place to visit but i wouldnt want to live there

2011-05-26T23:37:00.003-04:00

When Matt officially moved out a few weeks ago we went through the daunting task of cleaning out the house, namely the attic. The process, which was spread out over a few days (turns out mom was a bit of a hoarder), was actually quite entertaining. I scored/inherited some fancy teacups and saucers, but my favorite box was the one filled with old toys. It had me reminiscing about simpler times...can you tell I'm getting older? I immediately thought of the "Obsessions" we post every month to Lily Girl's Magazine and how much my "obsessions" have changed over the years. Things like Puppy In My Pocket, American Girl dolls, and dolphins somewhere along the lines got replaced with MAC Fake Eyelashes, Net-a-porter.com, and apps to find cheap gas. The crazier life gets every year the more I long for the carefree days of my childhood. I grew up in my own world, often accompanied by my best friend. In fact, I remember several times when people confronted us about feeling left out around us. We never intended to hurt anyone's feelings, we just had very vivid imaginations. I remember how I used to look forward to picking out my outfit for picture day (no one, I repeat no one, should have ever let me do this) and going away to summer camp. Now I look forward to my next day off (which is practically never) and the day my student loans are paid off (which will be when my family is burdened with them after I die). However, there is still something sweet and fun about every stage of life. I wonder what's next? Choosing paint colors? Picking out dishes? COUPONING?!?

strong enough

2011-05-26T02:48:00.003-04:00

Lord, I need you. I'm not strong enough.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." - Isaiah 40:29

bring the rain

2011-05-21T00:26:00.004-04:00

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

-MercyMe-

vogue

2011-05-20T00:53:00.002-04:00

whatever You're doing

2011-05-18T23:17:00.002-04:00

It's time for healing time to move on

It's time to fix what's been broken too long

Time to make right what has been wrong

It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me

And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender to what I can't see

but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone

Time to begin again

Re-evaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow Your will

Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is You want from me

I give everything I surrender...

To...

Time to face up

Clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

That I've wanted to say for so many years

Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but I believe

You're up to something bigger than me

Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but now I can see

This is something bigger than me

Larger than life something Heavenly

Something Heavenly

It's time to face up

Clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

- Sanctus Real -

tat tat tat it up

2011-05-18T23:06:00.008-04:00

Don't tell the rents, but I ~~kind of~~ really want a tattoo. I know it would never fly while I'm living under their roof though. So here's to wishing...

stuck in the middle

2011-05-18T11:21:00.004-04:00

Here I am in the middle of the week, in the middle of the month, and in the middle of a journey. Remember back when I first moved home and thought my Promised Land journey was finally coming to an end? Boy was I wrong. Apparently I am not a good guesser when it comes to determining where I am on my journey, but if I did have to make a guess I would assume I'm somewhere in the middle based on this relatable quote from Beth Moore's book Believing God...

"The middle of any challenging journey can be the most critical point. Many of us may not be where we were, but we're not yet where we want to go. Perhaps the terrible bondage of Egypt is behind us, but the land of promise seems remote. The longer we wander in the wilderness between, the greater the chance we'll return to captivity. The pull of familiar comforts and habits can feel overpowering, particularly against the uncertainty of Canaan's unknowns."

It is in trying times like these that I think about C.S. Lewis' book The Screwtape Letters. There is a certain part in the book where Screwtape is teaching Wormwood how to manipulate a human's weak and tired spirit to make him completely give up...

'Let his inner resolution be not to bear whatever comes to him, but to bear it "for a reasonable period" - and let the reasonable period be shorter than the trial is likely to last. It need not be much shorter...the fun is to make the man yield just when (had he but known it) relief was almost in sight."

Pete Wilson, the pastor of Cross Pointe Church in Nashville, attached a challenging thought to that passage in his book Plan B by saying, "How many times has that exact demonic trick been used on you? How many times have you missed witnessing God at work in the midst of your shattered dream because you gave up on him five minutes - or five years - too soon?"

No turning back now. Lord, help me see this to the end.

hold me together

2011-05-18T00:44:00.001-04:00

out in the open

2011-05-11T22:08:00.002-04:00

"For the sake of never making waves

I kept my secrets to myself

and no one ever really knew

the darker shadows of my heart

but I will be a witness

that there's nothing in me dark enough

the power of forgiveness

cannot rescue from the deep."

-Out in The Open by Amy Grant-

be free

2011-05-10T00:24:00.007-04:00

a series of unFORTUNATE events

2011-04-30T15:21:00.005-04:00

How do I even begin blogging after being absent for so long? There is so much I could say because so much has happened. Things slowly started falling apart for me. It started about the time I moved home, but January was when what I like to call "the series of unfortunate events" really began and I'm not entirely sure they have stopped yet...

It sent me spiraling into a depression and for months I couldn't really put into words how I felt so I traded my blog for my sketchbook (maybe one day I will post pages from it!). I never really understood depression before, especially how a Christian could struggle with it. I mean, you have the joy of the Lord, right? But experiencing it on my own shed some new light to the subject. If it was that easy for me to choose happiness, I would have, in a heartbeat.

I don't know exactly why or how it happened to me, but it left me feeling broken, unwanted, and alone. I wrestled with God on the purpose of my life - why was I here? What was I supposed to do? And the void of answers left Satan to fill my head with awful feelings of unworthiness. Any lies I believed from Satan were confirmed by the actions (or lack thereof) from family and friends. I cried out for help in so many different ways, but no one knew how to help me. When I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt I borrowed Virginia Woolfe's from Michael Cunningham's book, The Hours...

"My life has been stolen from me. I'm living in a town I have no wish to live in...I'm living a life I have no wish to live...How did this happen?"

And that is truly how I felt. I was growing accustomed to my new feelings of helplessness when a few fortunate events helped turn things around.

It all started on one random night at work about a week or two ago. I don't even think I was supposed to work that night and for whatever reason I picked up a shift. At the end of the night my friend Jeremy asked if I'd pick up one of his tables so I did. I served a very sweet couple and their two precious kids as my last table of the night. [Sidenote: the end of a long late shift is always better when you end the night with a good table.] I'm boxing up their food and making small talk when the lady randomly asks me if I write. How did she know? She told me that throughout dinner she had really felt like the Lord had been telling her to tell me to simply, "keep writing." You can imagine the shock on my face when she told me that. I sat down and chatted with Samantha and her husband Quinton for a while before they left that night. They encouraged me by telling me that the Lord was using me and that I was a light at my workplace. When they left and I told them to come back and see me, they simply replied with, "I don't think you will be here for long." Want to know something even crazier? That was the first time they had been in our restaurant! They normally opt for the one closer to home. That was Good Friday.

Easter came and went without much thought or consideration because I spent the majority of the day working, but when that Tuesday rolled around and I went to my Community Group we were asked what Easter meant to us. Since I had kind of forgotten the day (terrible, I know!) I didn't have much of a response. What came out of my friend Sandi's mouth, however, floored me. She compared Easter to New Year's - a fresh start. And even though Christ's forgiveness lasts throughout the year, the reminder of His sacrifice is almost refreshing. The idea of a clean slate gave me a glimpse of hope.

The next morning (after CG) I woke up to head off for my first vacay since my short trip to Boston in January - a trip to Nashville and my first half marathon! Only my excitement was quickly shattered when I awoke sick (this is not unusual, keep in mind - "series of unfortunate events"). I managed to make it to Lynchburg to meet Beth, my favorite running partner. We were packed and ready to go when terrible storms prevented us from leaving that night.

Exhibit A:

So we wake up on Thursday for round 2 of the storms, wait it out, and hit the road. We are about 3ish hours into our trip and only about a half an hour or so from the Tennessee border when we run into this...

Exhibit B:

A 9 hour traffic jam caused by an F2 tornado that decided to run right through a truck stop, dispersing semis across the road like a bunch of kid's toys. See for yourself: Tornado damage.

We are set back by what seems like 232353 hours, missed packet pick-up at the expo, and if all goes according to plan (plan B that is) will make it to Nashville in just enough time to catch a couple hours of zzzz's before awaking at 4 am to run a half marathon. We regretfully had to turn around.

On my way home I listened to my 1/2 marathon mix I had so carefully crafted for my 3 hour (just in case) run. Somewhere between Willow Smith and Katy Perry came Chris August's song "Canyons" which was really weird b/c A) I associate slow songs with slow running and therefore do not place them on my running playlists & B) I bought Chris August's CD without listening to all of the songs so I'm not sure I had even heard this song before. The first lyrics go as follows...

"Mountains and valleys, the ups and the downs I go through. I will rejoice in you Jesus no matter the view."

It was more than coincidence that his song popped up on my playlist. And I spent the last leg of my drive home worshipping God with a genuinely thankful heart.

So today I awoke at a different START then I had anticipated. While I had originally thought I would be at the start of my first big race, I'm really at the start of a new phase of life. A REstart of sorts. A fresh start. A new start.

I'm still healing, but I know the Lord is faithful to do what He says. And He will restore me. In His time.

the search for significance

2011-01-05T23:30:00.004-05:00

Years ago when my youth pastor left our church he said to me, "Miranda, I know you'll be fine. You know who you are and you know what you believe." And at the time, those words were so comforting to me...because they were true...for the most part. I used to be so confident. I used to know what I believed. Now I'm just not so sure anymore...

baby you're a firework

2011-01-05T00:19:00.005-05:00

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Drifting through the wind

Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

Like a house of cards

One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep

Six feet under scream

But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you

Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light

And let it shine

Just own the night

Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework

Come on show 'em what your worth

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework

Come on let your colors burst

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed

So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow

And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light

And let it shine

Just own the night

Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework

Come on show 'em what your worth

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework

Come on slet your colors burst

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

It's always been inside of you, you, you

And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework

Come on show 'em what your worth

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework

Come on slet your colors burst

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

You're gonna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

someday

2011-01-03T22:12:00.001-05:00

all things new

2011-01-01T11:37:00.009-05:00

I have never been more excited/thankful/glad to welcome a new year than this one. It's not that I regret 2010, it was just the hardest year of my life. I am completely in the dark about what the Lord has for me in 2011, but it has gotta be better than last year, right?

I have been thinking a lot about my new year's resolutions. I like making them, but I'm not so good at keeping them. I never finished my 10 in 10 - oops! Hey - 7/10 isn't so bad. This year I'm keeping my list short...

1. Learn how to do the splits.

2. Run a half marathon.

3. Finish a sketchbook.

And after eating nothing but candy and junk food since Halloween, the idea of eating a little healthier doesn't sound so bad. Ideally I'd like to cut out trans fats, aspartame, and HFCS but that would mean giving up these...

Pop Tarts - trans fat :(

Cold Stone Birthday Cake Remix - HFCS :(

Diet Coke - aspartame :(

Chocolate Covered Peeps - HFCS :(

Subway Sandwiches - HFCS :(

Is that realistic? I'm not so sure.

What I am sure of is this... "I don't know what my future holds, but I know Who holds my future."

ohana means family

2010-12-31T17:14:00.004-05:00

Last night was "Girl's Night" with my aunts and cousins and it was so much fun. I don't think I've ever been more thankful for my family than right now. I just love them. And I love that God can bring joy in the midst of our brokenness - which was proven to me last night. In some ways I think all of us have kind of gone through a season of what Beth Moore would call, "pit dwelling." If you aren't familiar with the term, check out her book "Get Out of That Pit" - I promise its a good read. In her book she says there are 3 ways to get into a pit - you get thrown in, you slip in, or you jump in. Between all of us, I think we've gotten all 3 ways covered. I know God will get us through and I'm so glad He gave us each other in the meantime.

black swan

2010-12-30T11:34:00.006-05:00

Ok, so Black Swan has been out for a while now and I really want to see it and I really don't want to see it at the same time. If the trailer wasn't so creepy I would have been first in line on the day it opened b/c I'm all about dance movies. I just want to see all of the costumes, without having to see someone stab themselves in the face with a nail file. Too much? Sorry, Stevie went to see it and told me all of the "scary" parts ahead of time to prevent nightmares in case I did happen to go see it. I just think that is so gross. Do people like watching that? I remember when Loisann convinced me to watch Saw 2...I think we only saw the first five minutes which included a guy pulling out his eyeball and digging through his eye socket with his fingers. I never made it past that part. Sick. When people go see that in theaters do they get popcorn? Because I can't imagine enjoying popcorn, a large soda, and a pack of gummi bears while seeing someone's guts on the big screen.

Back to Black Swan...Rodarte designed all of the costumes which is the main reason I really want to see the movie. Perhaps I will wait till it comes out on DVD so I can fast-forward anything gross. In the mean time I managed to find a few pics of the costumes...

[pictures from Tavi's Style Rookie blog]

i'm dreaming of a white christmas

2010-12-28T20:20:00.004-05:00

This Christmas was so special - I got to see all of my family and for the first time ever, God blessed me with a WHITE CHRISTMAS!! In fact, its still pretty white out there. We spent the day after Christmas snowed in, which was actually a lot of fun. We made snow cream, beat Dance Central on XBox, and had a huge turkey dinner! Lily loved all the snow...

"My cup runneth over..."

oh christmas tree

2010-12-24T20:23:00.011-05:00

In honor of Christmas Eve I thought everyone might get a kick out of some of the ornaments that annually make an appearance. We've never been a "themed tree" kind of family and I like that. Actually, I take that back...Mom tried the "themed tree" idea one year. Key word: one. Those ornaments are now in a box labeled "ugly ornaments." No lie! So those don't get put on the tree anymore. Personally I like the mix of memories that adorn our tree every year. Without further adieu...

First grade gold spray painted macaroni ornament - fancy!

Soccer Tigger circa 1999

I don't know who or where this ornament came from, but for as long as I can remember Brie and I have fought over who gets to put it on the tree. Now we have to take turns - it was her turn this year.

I found Nemo!

Ballet slippers I got from my friend Stevie this year!

Brie's first grade ornament!

Brie's Barbie Dream House

Cupcake, of course.

PEEPS!!!!!

brie budavich

2010-12-22T18:23:00.007-05:00

So I must look like a selfish jerk - I posted on Facebook, but I totally forgot to write here that...MY SISTER IS ENGAGED!!!!! It is crazy, weird, and wonderful all at the same time! Matthew has been living here since he got back from Africa and he already feels like a brother to me. I could not be more happy or excited for him to join our family. I don't want to steal my sister's thunder by sharing their engagement story or posting pictures of her ring (which is BEAUTIFUL and super sparkly) so be sure you ask her about both - its a really sweet story. Here is a picture of the newly engaged couple...

& the coconut cake I made up in 5 minutes that they ended up LOVING - score.

love letters

2010-12-20T22:35:00.006-05:00

I borrowed my sister's copy of Larry Crabb's "66 Love Letters" and started reading it this weekend. I LOVE it. Basically Crabb goes through each book (love letter) of the Bible sort of summarizing the chapters, giving highlights, and interpreting what he thinks God is trying to tell us. Crabb also gives his own personal reflections on each letter. It only took reading one chapter before I was completely convicted.

Crabb wrote this about Genesis from (what he thinks would be) God's perspective...

"When you finish reading My first love letter to you, I want you to realize that I never underestimated how thoroughly you'd mess up your life or how painfully you would struggle and suffer, and I don't want you to underestimate your failures or struggles either. They're all part of the story I'm telling."

"But neither have I underestimated My determination or ability to enter the mess you've made and the pain you feel and turn everything around. I can, and I will, make everything good again. Never, never underestimate Me. I have a plan, a very good one, and it will move ahead to completion. Guaranteed! Trust Me. Why? Because I love you even when you're messing up badly. I love you in the middle of your pain even though I don't relieve it as quickly as you wish. I am worthy of your trust, no matter what happens in your life. I have a good plan, and nothing will stop Me from carrying it to completion."

Not too long ago I cried to my mom about how frustrated I was with God. I felt like I had been obedient and patient and "good" but there was just nothing to show for my work. I knew moving home was what I was supposed to do, there is still no doubt in my mind about that, but when things didn't fall together like I thought they would I began to question God's plan for me. I thought I was doing everything right, but everything was going so wrong. So I rebeled. Not in a gocrazyanddobadthings kind of way, but in my heart I did. I think it started out as a lack of desire to read my Bible, pray, and spend time with God and before I knew it my lack of desire had turned into full out disobedience. And I hate that God had to bring me through another valley to get my attention, but I am so thankful for His promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - But he [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I've also taken a lot of comfort in Tenth Avenue North's song "You Are More" - just another great reminder that no matter how much we mess up, the Lord can restore us...

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

the christmas spectacular!

2010-12-16T00:05:00.011-05:00

My ballet was this weekend! On 12/11/10 (kinda cool, right?) and it was soooooooooooo much fun! We were at the Ferguson Center at CNU, the same place I saw Amy Grant at a little over a month ago. The show was awesome, the place was packed, and the proceeds went to Operation Smile. It can't get much better than that. Here are a few pics from backstage and a couple onstage. I thought about posting video but I think I'll keep that as a special memory for those that paid to see it - it was for charity after all!

Erin with our really healthy dinner which consisted of Mountain Dew, Reese's Pieces, Chips, & Starburst. You know, the Dancer Diet.

Erin, Emily, & I hanging out backstage! Get a load of that makeup!

All of the girls before our dance!

Performing Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Reed Pipes - classic.

Emily & me after our March of the Toys dance!

a post to pop tarts past

2010-12-03T22:56:00.018-05:00

veni, vidi, vici!

2010-12-03T22:12:00.002-05:00

The Pop Tart Project is over. I can finally say I have tried every flavor of something (and something delicious at that!) But I bet you probably have some questions so I'm going to try my best to answer as many of them now, but feel free to leave me a comment if I still leave you wondering!

What was your favorite flavor?

My favorite flavor was Chocolate Banana Split, which is unfortunately not around anymore :(

If I had to put them in order it would go a little something like this...

Chocolate Banana Split

Ice Cream Sandwich (formerly Vanilla Creme)

Brown Sugar Cinnamon

Chocolate Fudge

Pumpkin Pie

Vanilla Milkshake

Raspberry

Strawberry Milkshake

Hot Fudge Sundae

Blueberry Muffin

Strawberry

Orange Cream

S'mores

Blueberry

Cherry

Cookies and Cream

Chocolate Chip

Wild Grape

Cinnamon Roll

Apple Strudel

Gingerbread (ew, just ew)

Hey! You cheated! You didn't try all of the unfrosted, lowfat, and 20% DV Fiber varieties!

First off, I don't like you accusing me of cheating and second off...this is a technicality. I did not try the unfrosted versions mostly because I don't like them and because honestly, if you've tasted the crust of a frosted variety with a bit of the middle then you have practically tasted the unfrosted variety. Am I right or am I right? As for the lowfat and 20% DV Fiber varieties - I've had both (previous to this project) in efforts to justify my love for 200 calorie, sugar filled, calorie laden treats and if you were to put all three varieties of the Brown Sugar Cinnamon out for me to taste I don't think I'd be able to tell a difference. Truly.

If you could invent your own Pop Tart, what flavor would it be?

I did invent my own, kind of, click here to see my varieties. The first one (cotton candy & marshmallow version) is my personal fav.

What retired flavors do you wish you would have been able to try?

Caramel Chocolate, Dulce de Leche, Strawberry Cheese Danish, Mint Chocolate Chip, French Toast, & maybe Guava Mango.

Before this project I did get to try Hot Chocolate, which was good, and Wild Berry, which was average. I am not sure if Wild Berry is retired or not, but I haven't seen it in a while.

Why is Pop Tarts spelled so many different ways throughout your blog posts?

I'm still a little unsure of the correct spelling of Pop Tarts. I think technically it is Pop-Tarts...not to be confused with PopTarts or Pop Tarts? Did I spell it any other ways?

Will you still eat Pop Tarts?

As much as I love Pop Tarts, and I DO love Pop Tarts, I probably will not continue to eat them on a regular basis mostly because of the HFCS. I think I will always save a few of my favorites to have as occasional treats, but I may have to switch to Nature's Path Organic Toaster Pastries. Cherry chocolate anyone? Don't hate me Kellogg's!

Are you going to try every flavor of something else now?

Probably not. The Pop Tarts really satisfied, but if I did, I would probably have to pick something a little more healthy - like yogurt or Larabars. But secretly, I think all varieties of cereal would be a quite a feat.

chocolate chip cookie dough

2010-12-03T21:59:00.005-05:00

Ok, so this is my last flavor to try and I can't find the picture so I had to resort to this dinky stand in! Can you believe I'm done? That I finally tried them all?!? Don't worry - the next post will answer all those questions you are dying to know (like which is my favorite perhaps?) But for now...the chocolate chip cookie dough pop tarts. Described in one word? "Ehhhh." They were alright.

Toasted: They were good warm, definitely the best option of the three, but they don't compare to warm cookies so don't get your hopes up.

As Is: They were good, I mean, just not great. I was expecting more delicious cookie dough flavor.

Frozen: Now this was the big disappointment. I've been known to eat cold cookie dough straight from the fridge and was hoping for a similar feeling when biting into these...but like I said, "good" but not "GREAT!"

Pop Tarts Fact: Pop Tarts are not certified Kosher...bummer.

3 three's

2010-11-23T08:30:00.003-05:00

I recently joined a small group at my church here at home and we've only met three times, but I like it so far. One thing I really miss about LU is the fellowship and I figured this was about as close as I could get. In our CG (community group) we have each taken turns sharing our "3 three's" - 3 people, places, and events that have shaped who we are. I shared mine last week and thought it would be fun to share on here too. Here goes...

3 People:

1. Jesus. Honestly, Jesus is the only person that has ever changed my life. Every single decision I make, everything I do, all that I stand for is based on a personal relationship with Him.

2. Brie. Out of all of the best friends I've had growing up, my sister is my BEST best friend. I can't imagine life without her.

3. My parents. They are my biggest supporters and set the best example. They both work so hard and make so many sacrifices for me and my sister. I love them.

3 Places:

1. Liberty University. Believe it or not, LU was not my first choice of school. I originally wanted to go to Belmont in Nashville. My parents weren't into having me 11 hours away so we compromised - I would spend a year at LU and if I hated it, I could transfer to Belmont the following year. I went into LU thinking, "let's get this year over with," and absolutely fell in love with the school and people. My time there is where I really made my faith my own and where I was challenged to grow. Good thing I didn't transfer!

2. Kanakuk. My summer at Kanakuk was one of the best and hardest summers of my life. (Read more about my time at Kanakuk here) but it was the first time God really got me alone and revealed some sin in my own life and taught me the true meaning of child-like faith. Looking back, it was an incredible experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.

3. NYC. Just take a look back at my blogposts from summer of '09 and you can see what a lasting impression NYC had on my life. NYC is one of my favorite places in the entire world and I miss it pretty much everyday. Being there was indescribable, like I was truly in my element. And surprisingly enough, it was probably the time I was closest to the Lord. In NYC, my life was my testimony. The way I lived and what I stood for was so radically different which made me very conscious of every decision I made. I want to go back ASAP.

3 Events:

1. My salvation. I didn't grow up going to church, but I was saved in elementary school. I got in trouble for being too hyper and talkative in class and my "punishment" was to sit in the front of the room next to a very quiet girl who eventually became a close friend and invited me to church. I got involved at church and wanted a personal relationship with Christ and the rest is history. Like I said, my relationship with Jesus is really the heartbeat behind everything I do.

2. The summer of my freshman year of college. I went into college not really knowing what I wanted to do. College was just the next step, ya know? So that following summer I spent earnestly praying that God would give me a passion and a purpose...some sort of direction for my life. It was that summer that I really felt God calling me to magazines and to specifically starting a Christian girl's magazine. This January Lily Girl's Magazine will celebrate its first anniversary. God is good. All the time.

3. My first real job. I took my first real job for selfish reasons - partly out of desperation and partly because I wanted to feel like a real grown up. There was a fair share of good and bad, but looking back...it was the hardest year of my life. Through it all, I really learned so much though. Most importantly, grow where you're planted.

for today - peanut satay!

2010-11-21T20:02:00.004-05:00

I forgot to post about this, but about a month ago my mom and I went to our local Thai restaurant, Pataya, for my first Thai experience! And I, of course, was on a mission...for peanut satay (one of my 10 things to try in 2010). It was pretty good. The peanut sauce was super sweet, delicious, and probably pretty calorie dense. I don't think I will be eating this everyday by any means, but it was a nice little treat out especially since it was followed by some mango sticky rice!!!!!!!!! YUM!

26 dresses

2010-11-16T22:55:00.005-05:00

This weekend rocked. I had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddings (2 down, 25 to go, right?) Leslie Hunt (now Leslie Pendergrass) married her best friend exactly 6 years after they started dating in high school!!! Isn't that crazy? I just love their story. It is so sweet and storybook. The wedding was beautiful and the whole weekend was a ton of fun, Les never disappoints. I loved her entire bridal party - it was a reunion of sorts of some old friends and the beginnings of a great friendship with the new!

turn, turn, turn

2010-11-09T21:13:00.008-05:00

On Sunday night my friend Caitlin and I headed over to CNU to see Amy Grant perform. I can unashamedly say that I LOVE Amy Grant. I always have. I remember getting teased for it by the older girls on my hall freshman year of college. Whatever. There is just something about her music that is so comforting to my soul. No matter my phase in life I can always find at least one song that speaks directly to my heart. This was the first time in a long time that I had seen her in concert and it was just as good, if not better, than I remember her. The Ferguson Center is small and intimate and she interacted with the audience the entire night. I loved it and so did Cait (this was her first Amy Grant concert). Amy ended her concert with the Byrds song "Turn, Turn, Turn"** and it couldn't have been a more perfect song for my exact stage in life right now.

**I couldn't get the video to upload on my blog for some reason, so if you'd like to see it check it out on my FB page!

raspberry

2010-11-06T21:15:00.005-04:00

I think raspberry is such an underrated Pop Tarts flavor. Sure everyone goes crazy about strawberry, but seriously, these are way better! I randomly tried these a few years ago when I spotted them in the grocery store and they made a regular rotation into my breakfast line-up for a good year or so. I am definitely a raspberry fan.

Toasted: Yummy, like a way better version of Toaster Strudel.

As Is: Not overly sweet or tart, a perfect medium!

Frozen: Good all around!

**I had them at Pop Tarts World with lemon frosting and had the lemon frosting been better, they would have been totally delicious!!!

Pop Tarts Fact: Kellogg's sells more than 2 million Pop Tarts every year.

10k & 10 hours

2010-10-31T23:09:00.009-04:00

This weekend was quite eventful...well, at least Saturday was! My friend Beth drove down Friday night so that we could get up SUPER early on Saturday morning to run the Wicked 10k in Virginia Beach. It was SO much fun! I absolutely love running with Beth so I was really glad I got to complete my first 10k with her. And I am now a full believer in the "runner's high" b/c that run was such a thrill! It was especially entertaining b/c everyone was dressed up in Halloween costumes. Beth went as Pippi Longstockings and I went as cotton candy - which made for a very warm and toasty 6 miles. Here we are after the race:

And check out my "lucky laces." I got these at the Susan G. Komen 5k I ran at the beginning of the month and even though I don't really believe in "luck" I thought it would be fun to have some sort of "lucky" item to wear at my races...I mean all the pros do it, ya know?

After the race we had to speed back home so I could get ready for my cousin Amanda's wedding reception! My fam and I made the 10ish hour roundtrip to celebrate with Amanda and John. They got married in St.Thomas (I think) but had their reception back in the states and it was BEAUTIFUL! Amanda had everything 40s themed - from the feathery centerpieces down to her curly hair, red lips, and cute gloves. It was awesome. I love any excuse to get together with my entire extended family, they are a blast to be around. I am so blessed.

Oh yeah, Happy Halloween!

fairy bread

2010-10-29T16:09:00.003-04:00

It's almost the end of 2010 and I am plugging away at my 10 list. Next up? Fairy bread from Australia. This is like some sort of birthday tradition over there, but all it is is crustless white bread sliced in half, butter, and sprinkles (which they call "hundreds of thousands"). I don't really see the appeal other than the high they must get from the crazy amount of sugar. So I made my own version using Ezekiel bread (it's all we had), butter, and rainbow nonpareil sprinkles. I also cut mine into the shape of the heart, b/c I'm American, and it looked cute. I can't imagine passing up a slice of cake or ice cream for this, but birthdays are an excuse for a sugar overload, right?

pumpkin pickin'

2010-10-25T22:37:00.011-04:00

Last Wednesday I had a really bad day so on Thursday after work my mom cheerfully took me to the pumpkin patch to make up for it. Up until my freshman year of college I had never been to a real pumpkin patch. My mom says she took me when I was younger but unless I was a baby and we drove pretty far, it's questionable. There just aren't any where we live. So maybe I've been to a real pumpkin patch twice in my life, but since I don't remember the "first" time I don't count it. The pumpkin patch I grew up going to looked a lot like this...

You know...the one where the pumpkins are already picked and carefully placed into rows...the one beside a major highway. (sidenote: this picture didn't turn out as cool as I thought it would)

...the one with a giant jack-o-lantern out front...

...the one that also sells oysters???

...the one with price tags on the pumpkins...

...& the one with the PERFECT pumpkin - which now sits pretty outside of our front door :)

popsters strawberry blast

2010-10-19T22:14:00.004-04:00

Ok, so these little "popsters" weren't necessarily part of the pop tarts project, but at 100 calories a pack I figured, "why the heck not?!" Not being the keyword. They were just mini crusts. Pass. Consider yourself warned.

i will not take my love away.

2010-10-14T23:55:00.003-04:00

This is one of my favorite songs and probably the most beautiful, reassuring, comforting message of God's love I've ever heard. I've had it on repeat on my bedtime playlist for weeks. Download it STAT.

"I Will Not Take My Love Away" - Matt Wertz

I will not take my love away

When praises cease and seasons change

The whole world turns the other way

I will not take my love away

I will not leave you all alone

When striving leads you far from home

And there's no yield for what you've sown

I will not leave you all alone

I will give you what you need

In plenty or in poverty

Forever, always, look to me

And I will give you what you need

I will not take my love away.

googling "puppies"

2010-10-12T22:19:00.013-04:00

Somedays when I need a little pick-me-up I google "puppies." Don't laugh - it's a guaranteed mood lifter. Just try it...ok, fine, I'll do it for you.

My favorite puppies are the french bulldog puppies. Sidenote: I have GOT to get one of these!

And then of course there are the Bernese Mountain Dogs...

And who could forget the golden retriever?!?

101 Dalmations!!!!!!

And the best puppy (who isn't so much a puppy anymore)...our sweet, goofy, and "destructive" - my Mom's words, not mine - samoyed Lily!

state of grace

2010-10-10T20:34:00.006-04:00

Today I really miss my BFF Loisann. I take that back. I always miss her (she is currently at JMU for grad school), but I especially miss her on days like today - 10/10/10. And, no, other than the fact that that is ridiculously cool that today's date is all 10's, there is nothing else significant about it. But that's just the thing. I'm sure if Lo were here we would have made today monumental. And that's what I love about her - she is fun, goofy, and always up for a good time! So in honor of her I would like to share our all-time favorite TV show - State of Grace. It only lasted 2 seasons (I think) but it is still my favorite TV show to this day. Loisann and I used to spend manyyyyy nights watching State of Grace marathons. I think it's because we could easily relate to the characters. Growing up, and until we really started hanging out together, our lives very closely mirrored the personalities of the main characters of Hannah (Lo) and Grace (me). Check out the first episode on YouTube here...

**be sure to watch parts 2 & 3!

what to wear?

2010-10-08T21:47:00.010-04:00

This is pretty uncharacteristic of me BUT...this year I need a little help picking out my Halloween costume. Shocking? I know. I was pretty dead set on this little get up about 3 days after Halloween '09...

Pufferfish! Cute, right?

But here's the thing...this year I'm running a 10k the day before Halloween. And while I am super stoked to a) run a 10k & b) run it with my favorite running buddy Beth Jackson, a 10k is a little over 6 miles which makes planning a costume a little more tricky.

It doesn't help that I've stumbled across the web and fallen in love with these costumes as well...

Thoughts? Votes? Suggestions? Leave me a comment and let me know!

And while we are on the subject of Halloween costumes, why not revisit this little link - blast from the past?

pumpkin pie

2010-09-30T23:42:00.005-04:00

Let me just start by giving you a little piece of advice about the pumpkin pie pop tarts - if you see them, BUY THEM! Not only are they one of the most delicious pop tarts Kellogg's has ever come out with, but it took me about 7 trips to Target to finally get them. I must not be the only sucker that falls for the limited edition because those things fly off the shelves around here.

Toasted: If you close your eyes and take a bite you might just think its Thanksgiving. Seriously, it tasted just like warm pumpkin pie (Ok, so the texture was different but the taste was the same). And since we finally replaced our toaster I was finally able to enjoy this one without the microwave - a much better option.

As Is: I think this was the first pop tart where I actually didn't mind the crust. To be honest, I kind of liked it. Pumpkin pie crust, unlike bread, pizza, and all other pop tarts flavor crust, is different.

Frozen: I think this was possibly my favorite way to enjoy the pumpkin pie flavor because one of my all-time favorite things is eating pumpkin pie for breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving and this chilly treat brought back a flood of those fond memories. Maybe I can justify eating pumpkin pie for breakfast if it's in the form of a pop tart...

Pop Tarts Fact: Ben Brugler helped invent the Pumpkin Pie pop tart...kind of. Read his story here: #pumpkinpiepoptarts

And since it worked for Ben...kind of...I decided to send Kellogg's my own inventions. If you see any of these in the not-so-distant future, remember that you saw them here first ;)

...and no "canady" is not a typo ;)

p.s. sorry for the crappy quality of pics, but my sister "borrowed" my camera and I haven't seen it since!!!

RESTORE ME

2010-09-26T00:13:00.004-04:00

"On the outside, You think I'm alright

There's a smile on my face, everything's okay

But on the inside there's a different story

I've stumbled down this road and I've got so far to go

I'm a broken man

On my knees again

Longing for a touch from You

I need your hand to

Restore me, I need Your mercy

Take me to the place I used to be

Use all the pain and the hurt

To do a greater work and restore me

I wore my mask, running away from my past

Hiding all my scars, thinking I'd gone too far

But He knew my pain and He loved me just the same

He promised, I'd be free if I fell on my knees and cried

Restore me, I need Your mercy

Oh, take me to the place I used to be

Use all the pain and the hurt

To do a greater work and restore me

Restore unto me the joy of my salvation

So I'll sing again, the song You wrote for me

Give me a clean heart, I want a brand new start

Like the moment when I first believed

Restore me, I need Your mercy

Oh, take me to the place I used to be

Use all the pain and the hurt

To do a greater work and restore me

Please Jesus, oh yeah

Give me another chance

I want to be a new man

Please restore me, yeah yeah, yeah"

- Anthony Evans-

finally fall

2010-09-23T21:11:00.015-04:00

It is officially fall! I love fall, but I wasn't always such a big fan. In fact, I would almost say fall was probably my least favorite season growing up (what was I thinking?). I suppose it was because I associated the season with going back to school, raking leaves, and having to wear my coat at the bus stop. My how times have changed.

Here are my favorite things about fall:

PUMPKIN ANYTHING!!!

Specifically...

A pumpkin spice latte from Starbuck's.

OR, even better, pumpkin spice coffee from DD.

And these orange-flavored pumpkin-shaped chocolate-covered marshmallows that only appear once a year.

Any and every excuse to wear a hoodie or my North Face.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and a day to see my entire extended family.

All of the Fall scents at B&BW.

Picking out my Halloween costume.

The Poquoson Seafood Festival, Bay Days, The State Fair...any and all festivals. But most importantly, the seafood fest.

Leggings & boots.

Wearing leg warmers to ballet.

And if you are wondering if I still want Sanuk's Tube Flops...the answer is YES!

Picking out and carving a pumpkin, eating apples off of a tree, college football, elections, and other fall-related activities.

What are your favorites?

orange cream

2010-09-22T22:58:00.007-04:00

"Limited editions" always get me. Do they ever get you? Whenever I see something packaged as "limited edition" I feel the sudden urge to try it. I mean, if you don't try it right away you might not ever get another chance, right? And then if you DO like what you try, you have to buy it in bulk before it disappears. Yeah? So you can imagine my excitement when I found these LIMITED EDITION orange cream pop tarts at the grocery store. An orange dreamsicle taste packaged in a pop tart? Please and thank you!

Toasted: A little different. I've never had anything orange flavored that was warm so it was kind of a new concept to me and I'm not so sure I liked it.

As Is: Yummy - they taste just like orange dreamsicles!

Frozen: Again, just like an orange dreamsicle. GO BUY SOME NOW! THEY ARE LIMITED EDITIONS, REMEMBER?!?

Pop Tart Fact: Pop Tarts World, the first retail store and cafe for Pop Tarts, opened in NYC! Andddddd I finally got to visit! Check out pictures below...it was awesome. My Dad and I both had custom-made pop tarts for breakfast. He chose a blueberry pop tart with vanilla frosting and coconut and I opted for a raspberry pop tart with lemon frosting and rainbow sprinkles! The pop tarts (of course) were delish, but the frosting was terrible. Next time I recommend just keeping things simple by ordering a toasted pop tart of your choice. If you want to get crazy take a hike over to Amy's Bread and top your pop tart with a shot of their cream cheese frosting!!!! So worth the walk! (Plus you'll be burning off the pop tart, its clearly a win-win situation). Oh! We also got the pop tarts sushi. Cute idea, but not very good.

back to the burg

2010-09-21T21:49:00.005-04:00

This weekend I drove back up to the Burg with Brie! Friday night we got into town late and stayed the night with the Clarkson's. It was so good to catch up with Jess - I love hanging out with her & Nathan, they are so welcoming and comfortable to be around. Saturday morning Brie, Jess, and I got up ridiculously early to drive to Roanoke to run in the Marine Mud Run 5k! It was a BLAST and we were sooooooo muddy afterwards!

I even got a battle wound!

When we were wading through the river and going through the obstacles we kept imagining we were real Marines. Good thing it was just pretend!

I spent that afternoon catching up with Beth and then headed off to Smith Mountain Lake with Sarah, Megan, Rachel, and Tirzah to surprise Jen for her b-day! And boy was she surprised!!!! SUCCESS :) We stayed up late gazing at the stars, catching up, and celebrating Jen! I am so blessed to have such amazing friends. The weekend was way too short!

#nycfw

2010-09-15T22:36:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was incredible. Dad & I flew up to NYC for the day. It was so nice to just get away and spend time together! September is the best time of the year to visit NYC - the weather is beautiful, there are less crowds, and of course September kicks off fashion week! We went up to the Lincoln Center to catch a peak. Yesterday's shows included Vera Wang, Max Azria, Rodarte, and (gasp!) MARC JACOBS! We didn't get to see an actual runway show (it's invite online) but it was still fun to be in the middle of all the buzz. Check out these pics:

just dance

2010-09-13T23:13:00.005-04:00

It is official. I am a ballerina again!

Not too long ago my friend Stevie and I decided that we were going to join a dance studio and take ballet again. Why? I think the more important question here is, "why NOT?!?" Lately I feel as though my whole life revolves around the motto, "If not now, when?" and that certainly was true of our spur of the moment decision to dance. We spent the past month scoping out local dance studios and finally fell in love with one. We had our first lesson tonight and it was a blast. I love dancing, I love our outfits (one of Stevie & I's favorite parts about dancing was choosing our outfits), and I love that those 5 years of French didn't completely go to waste. Start clearing out your wallets and your calendars people, there will be photos and a recital in the not-so-distant future.

And for those of you who didn't have the chance to know me as a ballerina the first time around. I give you these throwbacks...

In addition to ballet I am also taking hip hop. I've turned into a dancing machine. Hip hop, though completely opposite of ballet, is still just as fun and entertaining. At the end of class we have dance offs and freestyles. Just go ahead and picture that. I'll post videos soon! Be blessed!