Tuesday, May 31, 2011

all the thoughts in my head

Here is what has been on my mind lately:

1. My current obsession with The Real Housewives of NJ, especially Jacqueline Laurita (my favorite).

2. What ever happened to Wonderballs? Aka the greatest candy ever.

3. How much I really want a white holland lop bunny.

4. The fact that there are 3498504354 thousand million things I need to do, which makes me really wish humans hibernated like bears because I would kill for a loooong nap about now.

5. The dull pain in my left foot that hasn't gone away since it started on Mother's Day.

6. My full intentions to start a new bible study/devo tomorrow morning because Lord knows I could use the accountability in my life.

7. Why I feel the need to add lots of links to things I post in my blog?

8. And, like everyone else, my interest in watching the cat hugging video on repeat. IT IS SO CUTE!! Click here.

That's all.

Monday, May 30, 2011

i scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM

It was about this time last year when I was still living in the burg, most days stayed in the 90's and I was eating blue goo ice cream from Mister Goodies everyday that I decided I should buy my own ice cream machine. And I'm not talking dinky little Cuisinart (though I would gladly settle for that now) I'm talking the big boys - like this one from Taylor. I was seriously on to something. I did a little math and those ice cream vendors have to make bank in the summer. It didn't help that around this time I was seriously contemplating leaving my job (which I also did not too long after). And now that summer is practically back in full force I can't help but still think this is a good idea. I mean, how fun would it be to come up with your own flavor combos? Like Sundae Grill's "Playdough" ice cream - bright yellow vanilla ice cream with sugar cookie chunks and rainbow sprinkles. Or "Breakfast Bash" with pancakes, waffles, and french toast from Max & Mina's. What a fun job. I think I'm still suffering from post-grad syndrome. I just have no idea what I'm doing with my life. The longer I've been out of school the more I feel like the "luxury" of choosing what I get to do is just an illusion. I love where I went to school but I sure wish they had set me up for success. I also wish you were exempt from paying student loans if you weren't using your degree. Just sayin'

Thursday, May 26, 2011

reality is a nice place to visit but i wouldnt want to live there

When Matt officially moved out a few weeks ago we went through the daunting task of cleaning out the house, namely the attic. The process, which was spread out over a few days (turns out mom was a bit of a hoarder), was actually quite entertaining. I scored/inherited some fancy teacups and saucers, but my favorite box was the one filled with old toys. It had me reminiscing about simpler times...can you tell I'm getting older? I immediately thought of the "Obsessions" we post every month to Lily Girl's Magazine and how much my "obsessions" have changed over the years. Things like Puppy In My Pocket, American Girl dolls, and dolphins somewhere along the lines got replaced with MAC Fake Eyelashes, Net-a-porter.com, and apps to find cheap gas. The crazier life gets every year the more I long for the carefree days of my childhood. I grew up in my own world, often accompanied by my best friend. In fact, I remember several times when people confronted us about feeling left out around us. We never intended to hurt anyone's feelings, we just had very vivid imaginations. I remember how I used to look forward to picking out my outfit for picture day (no one, I repeat no one, should have ever let me do this) and going away to summer camp. Now I look forward to my next day off (which is practically never) and the day my student loans are paid off (which will be when my family is burdened with them after I die). However, there is still something sweet and fun about every stage of life. I wonder what's next? Choosing paint colors? Picking out dishes? COUPONING?!?

strong enough

Lord, I need you. I'm not strong enough.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." - Isaiah 40:29

Saturday, May 21, 2011

bring the rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray


Friday, May 20, 2011

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

whatever You're doing

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Re-evaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

- Sanctus Real -

tat tat tat it up

Don't tell the rents, but I kind of really want a tattoo. I know it would never fly while I'm living under their roof though. So here's to wishing...

stuck in the middle

Here I am in the middle of the week, in the middle of the month, and in the middle of a journey. Remember back when I first moved home and thought my Promised Land journey was finally coming to an end? Boy was I wrong. Apparently I am not a good guesser when it comes to determining where I am on my journey, but if I did have to make a guess I would assume I'm somewhere in the middle based on this relatable quote from Beth Moore's book Believing God...

"The middle of any challenging journey can be the most critical point. Many of us may not be where we were, but we're not yet where we want to go. Perhaps the terrible bondage of Egypt is behind us, but the land of promise seems remote. The longer we wander in the wilderness between, the greater the chance we'll return to captivity. The pull of familiar comforts and habits can feel overpowering, particularly against the uncertainty of Canaan's unknowns."

It is in trying times like these that I think about C.S. Lewis' book The Screwtape Letters. There is a certain part in the book where Screwtape is teaching Wormwood how to manipulate a human's weak and tired spirit to make him completely give up...

'Let his inner resolution be not to bear whatever comes to him, but to bear it "for a reasonable period" - and let the reasonable period be shorter than the trial is likely to last. It need not be much shorter...the fun is to make the man yield just when (had he but known it) relief was almost in sight."

Pete Wilson, the pastor of Cross Pointe Church in Nashville, attached a challenging thought to that passage in his book Plan B by saying, "How many times has that exact demonic trick been used on you? How many times have you missed witnessing God at work in the midst of your shattered dream because you gave up on him five minutes - or five years - too soon?"

No turning back now. Lord, help me see this to the end.

hold me together

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

out in the open

"For the sake of never making waves
I kept my secrets to myself
and no one ever really knew
the darker shadows of my heart
but I will be a witness
that there's nothing in me dark enough
the power of forgiveness
cannot rescue from the deep."

-Out in The Open by Amy Grant-

Tuesday, May 10, 2011