love letters

I borrowed my sister's copy of Larry Crabb's "66 Love Letters" and started reading it this weekend. I LOVE it. Basically Crabb goes through each book (love letter) of the Bible sort of summarizing the chapters, giving highlights, and interpreting what he thinks God is trying to tell us. Crabb also gives his own personal reflections on each letter. It only took reading one chapter before I was completely convicted.

Crabb wrote this about Genesis from (what he thinks would be) God's perspective...

"When you finish reading My first love letter to you, I want you to realize that I never underestimated how thoroughly you'd mess up your life or how painfully you would struggle and suffer, and I don't want you to underestimate your failures or struggles either. They're all part of the story I'm telling."

"But neither have I underestimated My determination or ability to enter the mess you've made and the pain you feel and turn everything around. I can, and I will, make everything good again. Never, never underestimate Me. I have a plan, a very good one, and it will move ahead to completion. Guaranteed! Trust Me. Why? Because I love you even when you're messing up badly. I love you in the middle of your pain even though I don't relieve it as quickly as you wish. I am worthy of your trust, no matter what happens in your life. I have a good plan, and nothing will stop Me from carrying it to completion."

Not too long ago I cried to my mom about how frustrated I was with God. I felt like I had been obedient and patient and "good" but there was just nothing to show for my work. I knew moving home was what I was supposed to do, there is still no doubt in my mind about that, but when things didn't fall together like I thought they would I began to question God's plan for me. I thought I was doing everything right, but everything was going so wrong. So I rebeled. Not in a gocrazyanddobadthings kind of way, but in my heart I did. I think it started out as a lack of desire to read my Bible, pray, and spend time with God and before I knew it my lack of desire had turned into full out disobedience. And I hate that God had to bring me through another valley to get my attention, but I am so thankful for His promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - But he [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I've also taken a lot of comfort in Tenth Avenue North's song "You Are More" - just another great reminder that no matter how much we mess up, the Lord can restore us...

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.