Thursday, December 10, 2009


So ever since I've been back in Lynchburg I feel like I've been slowly unraveling and last night I finally came undone. It kind of happened in 3 stages (my mental breakdown that is) First, I came home and all of our power was out. Awesome. Let me just preface all of this by saying that, even though I haven't publicly admitted this on my blog, I've pretty much struggled with being here in Lynchburg since the day I got back. And I know its my own fault. I just have not felt contentment or peace here at all and every morning I wake up and let Satan steal my joy. I'm just so convinced that I left my heart in NYC. Lately I've had this "just deal with it" attitude and that is wrong on so many levels. I know the Lord has me here for a reason and my restlessness is because I have simply "dealt" with my situation and not been joyful. Last night's power outage just confirmed my hate for Lynchburg. Enter phase two - I get home from my friend Emily's house and our power is STILL out. This is the part where I call home crying (oh that is before my phone DIES) and beg for my parents to bring me back home to the beach. I finally calm down and just go to bed...what else am I going to do in the pitch black? Then comes my favorite part, when I wake up in the middle of the night (or who knows what time it really is...remember my phone died) freezing. And you wanna know something even better? Somehow our apartment was freezing cold but the food in the fridge was not. There goes $40 bucks in groceries. Between you and me, I don't exactly make "bank" so 40 bucks is a lot. Plus, if I had known the fridge wasn't going to be cold I could have slept in there. So that, my friends, is where I completely lost it. I mean I sat on the floor and just cried. I think I cried enough tears to fill a bathtub. Then I woke up this morning, our power was back (after we manually played with the breakers), I read my Bible and substituted my usual breakfast yogurt with an apple (never trust leaving refrigerated items on your back porch to keep them cold) and this is what I read...

"Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 4:17

Wow. Thanks God. From now on I'm fighting Satan for my joy in the mornings. Pray for me, k?

1 comment:

  1. "Count it all joy, my brothers (and sisters), when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing...Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:2-4,12)

    Miranda, I remember when you first went to Lynchburg over 4 years ago and how ready you were to transfer before you even got there, but God used that season of your life to grow you in your wisdom of Him and to prepare you for life. So, here is another season in Lynchburg. May you find your joy in Christ and not just your circumstances. That is something I fail in often. But God's grace is sufficient. Let's catch up soon!